Friday Favorite: It's in the eye of the beholder

Me: (wiping at a smudge) What on earth is this yucky gunk on your face?
Alexandra: (batting her eyes) It's a beauty mark.

Placing sprinkles on bananas and peanut butter

She sleeps in a tiara, wears a tutu with sweatpants, and fights with her brother over whether her imaginary jewelry makes rainbows or not.

Perspective is a magical thing.  If one looks from the wrong angle, life can be pretty dirty and ugly. I want to borrow my daughter's viewpoint. Maybe she wears a lot of bandaids because she gets scraped up along the way, but she embraces her pretty bandages as accessories. If she can turn a chocolate covered scrape under her eye into a beauty mark, then what else can transform with the right attitude?

Friday Favorite: Easy Icing

Need a fast way to frost a cake? It's your lucky day!

Half the batter made cupcakes.  Half the batter made this easy cake.

My friend Dee Dee gave me this "recipe" a while back and I finally tried it.

1. Remove cake from oven.
2. Place Hershey's chocolate bars or candy kisses on top.
3. Watch them melt.
4.  Eat cake while still warm.

I tried this the other day with leftover Valentine candy.  It was delicious. Thanks, Dee Dee!

Friday Favorite: Ghirardelli's Double Chocolate hot cocoa

Search your grocery store shelves for a hot chocolate mix without high fructose corn syrup. Go ahead. I'll wait right here.

 It's hard, right? 

We love having hot chocolate "tea" parties

But I finally did it. 

Sure, the first ingredient is sugar, but I know what sugar is.  And cocoa.  And vanilla.  

And deliciousness.

free of high fructose corn syrup and full of fabulous yummy  

Enjoy!

Excited kiddos preparing for their "tea" party.  

Friday Favorite: Heaven Sent Food and Fiber Goat Soap

On Tuesday, I told you I love Heaven Sent Food and Fiber, so I'm giving away a Valentine so you can get to know their amazing products, too.

Shopping is difficult enough without some research telling me everything contains toxins. Deodorant, soap, etc.  This stuff is supposed to be clean, right?  If you like natural and non-toxic products, I have a soap for you.  Plus, it smells good.

As some of you know, my hubby is very health conscious.  Heaven Sent Food and Fiber's goats' milk soap is the only kind he uses.  (I even went to a monastery and bought some of the monks' homemade product, but he would have nothing to do with it!)

Something you should know about this soap is that it's different from the kind you buy at a superstore. Since it doesn't have a lot of ingredients in it, don't expect suds.  It doesn't mean it's not working.  It just doesn't create all the bubbles...which brings up the question, what chemical causes those suds? Eek. Another thing to know about this soap is that it lasts FOREVER.

Would you like to win your own soap? It's easy!

First, select which soap you'd like to win.

Oatmeal and Honey
Lavendar Rosemary
Rosemary Mint
Tea Tree Mint and Oatmeal

Second, since Coleen's Thorton's farm is self-supporting, let me know what back-to-basics, Little House on the Prairie-type skill you would like to acquire.

Third, post your answers in the comment section below with your contact info, and check back on Valentine's Day to see if you won!

Lastly, if you're interested in supporting small farms, here's a note from Coleen:

Since you are signing up through the computer would you vote for our Dream Big Contest Idea? We are competing to win a $5,000 grant to purchase equipment for making socks from our yarns. This is one “warm step” closer to our dream of bringing a small fiber mill to Tahlequah to create agriculture-related  jobs and more options for farmers and ranchers. Go here to vote for our Dream! Share it on your page to have friends and relatives vote too. 

Check back on Valentine's Day to see who wins!

Princess Alexandra

Princess Alexandra loves playing with other princesses. Boys, however, are another story.

















:Would you like to dance?


Alexandra turns her back on him.

: Would you like to dance?

: No. No. Go away. You can't dance with us.  Go away.

: May I have this dance?

She hurls the prince across the room.

Then she looks up.

:Superman? (She thrusts Superman at me and batts her eyes.) Talk to me, Superman. Talk to me. (She sways to music only she and the little princesses clutched in her fists can hear.) Dance?


Okie dokie.  No normal guy. No prince. The girl has standards.  She wants Superman.

I can live with that.

Friday Favorite: Slow Cooker Liners

I love my crockpot(s).

Yes, I have two. No, wait. I own three. The last one has three compartments.

Crockpots are hard to clean, though, so I won't use one without this kitchen helper:  

Slow Cooker Liners are magical!

Santa considered putting these "crockpot condoms" in stockings this year.  They're that awesome.

What is a must-have helper in your kitchen?

Friday Favorite: Catching Fire from Hunger Games

Warning***Spoilers***

Part of me dreaded watching Catching Fire. How could Peeta's character ever be redeemed?  Then I saw the movie. Even if you are a stickler for details, believe me when I tell you it is worth watching.

Just turn off the sound and watch.

butterfly dress by Alexander McQueen

Clothes
Since a pin helped spark a revolution and a dress helped the fire grow, it seems fitting that the clothes in this movie are incredible. Cinna is one of my favorite characters, but I applaud the real designers who costumed these actors.  Somehow, the Capitol clothes don't seem quite as over-the-top as in the first movie. In fact, they simply seem couture. The audience's acceptance of their look as normal is a triumph--the creators have truly made us voyeuristic members of the Capitol. I love-love-love that Effie wore Alexander McQueen's butterfly dress. The victors, too, have stepped up their look and make quite the statement. As soon as Katniss appeared onscreen, I wanted to learn to knit or crochet or...okay, I wanted to buy this cowl/vest thing.

photo from capitol couture.pn 

Each time the victors dressed up, I wondered how many versions will be at high school proms this year? Plus, I may pick up running if I can acquire a workout version of the shirt worn in the Quell.  I can't find it, but I did find the training gear here. Hmmm. Did the franchise possibly have marketing in mind? Buy the jewelry here, including the mocking jay pin, Finnick's necklace, and Peeta's art deco pendant (cast from the actual prop).

Peeta
Even though I will forever be a Gale girl, the book convincingly argued why Katniss would be attracted to Peeta.  He was yin to her yang.  They balanced each other. She needed him as much as he needed her. Plus, it was in first person so we live the love story through the eyes of Katniss and see how she is sometimes flat-out in awe of the boy with the bread. Not so in Hunger Games movie.  Peeta was a big ol' pansy.  All of the parts where he helped them survive were tossed out to show what a badass Katniss was. And that's just annoying.

Relief filled me as Catching Fire attempted to restore Peeta's dignity a little at a time. He was intelligent.  His talent for dealing with people was reinforced. I was feeling pretty good about Catching Fire making him seem like someone she'd actually prefer to the rebellious Gale. Then, they had him pansy up again. He was stumbling, she was rescuing...Blahblahblah.

However, at least this time around, he wasn't all pathetic puppy love and weakling. Josh Hutcherson has the opportunity to win over even Gale faithfuls in the third and fourth installments. Onscreen, he has the possibility to grow and change more than any other character.

Casting
All in all, I think Catching Fire was a much better movie than the first one.  I screamed, gasped, curled up in my chair, etc.  And I've read the book three times. I've only been that crazy obsessive with one other series. Initially, Finnick wasn't quite what I'd imagined. Then I went home and read how Katniss described Finnick as "too pretty" for her tastes. Yep. The casting was right on. Now, I adore him. And I believed he'd been passed around the Capital women for almost ten years.  I absolutely loved the casting of Mags and Johanna. Perfection.

Madge
I did, however, miss characters--especially Madge. Remember the girl who gave Katniss the mockingjay pin?  The girl whose aunt died in the Quarter Quell Haymitch won?  The only girlfriend Katniss had?(What? Katniss had a friend besides Gale? Who might have even had a crush on him and been a better fit for Gale than Katniss?) No?  You must have only seen the movie.  She was cut.   By giving the pin to Katniss, Madge revealed the heart of a rebel. As the daughter of the mayor, she knew what it represented. However,  since they couldn't neuter her like Peeta they just amputated her. Peeta, Madge, Darius (what? who's he?!) were silenced as much as an Avox, preventing anyone from portraying Katniss as more of a person doing great things rather than some kind of superhero. Perhaps to cover these misdeeds, the character of President Snow's granddaughter was introduced in the movie.  Really? Really?

Extras
If you're throwing a watch party, it wouldn't be complete without this Happy Hunger Games banner.
Consider wearing this mocking jay full skirt. 


If you just can't get enough Hunger Games, check out this online magazine called Capitol Couture. See stylish pictures and insider information.  If you don't already, you'll feel just like a citizen of Panem when you peruse the pages.

Here are some other posts I've written about the Hunger Games trilogy. 

Happy Hunger Games! May the odds be ever in your favor.

So, did the movie measure up to your expectations? What did you love or loathe? How many movie watchers plan to read the book?  

Giving Thanks With Thoughtful Giving: Trigeminal Neuralgia

Meet the Mitchells. 

 

Jesse and I met in kindergarten. (I'll spare you the elementary school stories because Jesse is tired of hearing them.) Alecia and I met in middle school where she proved her ability to play the flute, while I learned my lips were the wrong shape for the instrument. So, in high school, they were both drum majors while I used my big mouth to cheer for our teams.

Photo snapped in between Jesse's happy smiles, but Alecia provided hers!

I still remember their wedding day in our home church: Alecia's red hair vibrant beneath her white veil.  Jesse's trademark grin larger than normal. Me realizing we were all grown up.

Even now, when I think of them, I see Alecia's red hair and Jesse's smile; I feel their joy and kindness; and I hear music.

They're the friends I may not have hung out with all the time, but when I did, I wanted to be my best self.  Still do. They're the kind of friends that before doing something questionable, I wonder what they'd think about it.  Not because they're judgmental, but because they're nice, good people and I'd hate to disappoint them.

Because Jesse and Alecia believe in the good of mankind, they often find it.

Jesse said recently, "I've been married to Alecia for 16 years (17 in December) and have had 19 surgeries in that span. I apologized once to her for all of this being my fault, that I'm sure she never thought of her life turning out like this. She just told me, 'I said I married you for BETTER or WORSE. This is just the worse part. It WILL get better.'"

Jesse has Trigeminal Neuralgia. It's often called "the suicide disease" because it is so agonizing that many prefer suicide to living in fear of pain's power. A small breeze, a baby's touch, or even a smile can provoke an unfathomable jolt of pain.

Jesse explains it best:

"I try so hard to not be discouraged, to keep trusting that He will provide. He has thus far. Man, have we ever been a part of some wonderful blessings and miracles.... It's getting easier to let go and for me to quit trying to be "the one in charge," because this life isn't mine. It's HIS. I try to remain positive and try to help others who become sick and feel the way I have.

This disease, Trigeminal Neuralgia (where a blood vessel or artery wraps around a portion of the Trigeminal Nerve, rubbing away the protective sheath surrounding the nerve, causing intense pain each time the vessel pulses or moves),  takes away so much of who the person once was.

removing stitches

I've had two brain surgeries to treat this disease. I had the first, a MicroVascular Decompression, in September 2009. Eight months after that surgery took place, it failed. I had a second brain surgery in June 2010 to sever the sensory portion of the nerve. 

You almost live in a cocoon, a sort of hermit, scared to death that another 'attack' will hit at any time. These attacks have been described as feeling like being struck in the head by a lightning bolt, stabbed by an ice pick, struck in the head by a cattle prod, or biting onto a live, active electric wire. Through research, actual case studies and surgeries that have taken place recently among those like me who have had the sensory portion of the Trigeminal Nerve severed, we now know that those sensory fibers can in fact regenerate and reconnect to each other, causing that pain to resurface.

Unfortunately, exactly that has happened, and I'll have a third brain surgery to cut the entire Motor Cortex and Sensory portion of the nerve, resulting in what looks like a stroke-type of condition on my face; whereby, I will have no ability to smile, no ability to chew or to open my mouth, but I'll take that over pain like this any day."

badge of courage

Not only does Jesse have Trigeminal Neuralgia, but he's also been plagued with horrific sinus surgeries and complications--which resulted in MRSA, numerous PICC lines, and carrying an oxygen machine with him.

Jesse posing with one of his many PICC lines

Although he is an intelligent, hard worker, his illnesses resulted in the destruction of his career. Alecia's teacher's salary couldn't pay all the bills of a growing family, so Jesse was forced to apply for disability. That, too, was a struggle, but he was eventually granted it. As a result, his children have no health insurance because the stipend pushed them over the limit for Sooner Care. His COBRA runs out this month and the medicare won't kick in until this summer.

The Mitchells are good, hard-working citizens.  When do they get a break? I've spent so much time being angry for them.

Yet, they express gratitude, focus on blessings, and inspire many.

Through his pain--in spite of his health--Jesse encourages fellow TN sufferers and families, inspires friends and strangers, uses Facebook for the power of good, supports his children in school activities, cheers fanatically for sports teams, etc.

And one must ask why. Why has this happened? Are these illnesses connected? Does Jesse have bad genetic luck or is there something more?

When will things get better?

Here's where we come in.

The Mitchell family has an opportunity to go to the Mayo Cinic in Minnesota to meet with Jesse's dream doctor.  Someone gave them plane tickets.  They feel this is their chance to get it right. To learn why he's had so many complications.  To have an answer so he--and his family--can heal.

"Though my family and I have struggled mightily all along, I've never given up HOPE. If you give up hope--h-o-p-e--then you have nothing. It's my daily goal to give at least one person a semblance of HOPE, to let them know that there is an end to what they're going through."

When I asked permission to tell their story, Alecia said that she was honored that I would share their stories and loves that their story shows the goodness of others.

See? Good people.

Another drastic surgery must be intimidating. If the world has to continue without Jesse's smile, so be it. Because their goodness will still be here. We need more of that.

I often want to help people, but don't want to give money to an organization that will spend it on postage stamps or CEO salaries.  If you prefer a direct approach as well, please donate to Jesse and Alecia's family here. During this month of giving thanks, please consider thoughtful giving.

Most of all, please keep them in your thoughts and prayers the week of November 18.

Like End Trigeminal Neuralgia on Facebook. Find more information here.

And just for funsies...

 High school sweeties:

Twenty year reunion:

*all photos courtesy of Alecia Mitchell 

Fear Landscapes

***Caution: Minor Spoiler for Divergent series***

Allegiant, the third book in the series, arrived Tuesday. They're incredible.  Movie arrives in March.

One of the things I like about the Divergent series by Veronica Roth is the way the Dauntless faction deals with fear.

"Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it." --Veronica Roth, Divergent

Their main methodology of coping with what gives them the heebie jeebies?  Fear landscapes. Just inject a special serum  in your neck and it triggers your terrors so that you can learn how to control or be free from them.  Before going into the final stage of initiation, the Dauntless are told that the average number of fears is 10-15.

Wondering how many you have?

Recently, I went to bed, fell asleep, and traveled through my fear landscape. As in the book, I knew it wasn't real.  I knew I just had to get to the other side somehow.  My fears hit me one after the other.

First, total darkness. Then my vision pans out until I see movement beneath the black. Spiders. Thousands. The shot moves higher until the shape of the container is clear. It's a coffin. The spiders move and reveal my face.  They crawl all over me, but I can't move my arms or legs to knock them off. If I scream, the spiders will crawl in my mouth. That's what has happened in this dream the many times I've had it since childhood.  I don't scream.  I focus on it not being real. I focus on it being about claustrophobia and being trapped with the spiders. I remember I no longer fear spiders because Garrett refused to remove a gigantic spider from the front porch last October.  (I certainly wasn't going to do it!) He said I needed to get over my fear of spiders, so I watched that arachnid grow and grow and scare visitors until I wasn't frightened anymore.  I was even a little sad to see her go.  As I recall this, my fear in the dream disappears, and the spiders on me are her babies...a la Charlotte's Web. They're visiting me. Awww.

So I go to the next nightmare.

Long before Harry Potter's dementors or Twilight's Volturi, their lovechild tormented my nights.  I haven't seen one in a long time, but a brood of them are resurrected.  Almost 18 years ago, I realized I could control my nightmares. It is this one that taught me that. I recall the feeling of power when I stopped running and turned to face the demon. It smiled at me and ran away. Freedom made me fly. I take a deep breath, turn to face the demons, and remember how to fly.

So I go to the next nightmare. 

And the next. 

And the next.

I've not conquered this one before. I tense up as I go deeper into the fear landscape.

 

My skin pulses with urgency. Lost in the woods, I must rescue someone. I see a wood-paneled house.   If the person I seek is here, I have no clue how to find safety. But I know we must flee. I creep closer and peek through a dirty window. A conveyor belt carries life-sized dolls of identical size in identical boxes. Varying shades of rosy cheeks dot their faces.  Pretty dresses adorn their bodies. But after watching a while, I notice a clear pattern to the dolls.  They are reproductions. A madman stands by a sink full of what looks like giant Barbie appendages bathed in bloody water. Spare parts? Is he creating them according to his whims? When one blinks her thick eyelashes at me, I realize they aren't dolls. They are women, and I am staring at myself. I am there to rescue me.

In Divergent, the Dauntless face the fear or control their fear until the fear landscape goes away. Either way, the effort requires courage. I struggle with this fear landscape.  I ponder what it means.  I work on calming myself.

Oddly, this fear landscape fades and goes to my next...dream.

My most secret--and not-so-secret--aspirations appear before me, almost realized. And then I get in my own way.  Then my next dream materializes and I sabotage myself again. If the monster causing all these problems weren't me, then I'd really hate myself for keeping me from being happy. Um...what?

It is the most terrifying landscape so far.


I think it's time that changes, don't you? Dreaming is scary. Allowing oneself to take the risks to turn those dreams into reality is even scarier.  But I think it's time I try being dauntless.  How 'bout you?

Are you like the Divergent and can you control the nightmares in your fear landscape? What's in your landscape?  Do you have nightmare re-runs?  How do you stand in the way of your own dreams? How do you plan to dare to dream?

 

Friday Favorite: Nutella

Dear Nutella,

It's my fault. I judged you on your name and appearance.  That odd name that's part fruity and part girly. That red color that's a little too close to orange to not contain citrus.  That unanswered question to why the "n" is a different color which makes the name seem to be "utella," but that part isn't as weird as the fact that it's pronounced NEWtella.

I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions.

You are not Vegemite.

You contain chocolate. And nuts. 

Did you have your cute little makeover to get my attention?  I love how you accessorized with the bread sticks.  Am I aware of you now because of this transformation or is it because you're hanging out in different places--like the checkout line? 

However it happened, I'm glad you're with me now. B + N XOXO

Has anyone else discovered a love of food (or anything else) later in life that they shunned previously?  What is your favorite way to eat Nutella?

Friday Favorite: Giveaway and Getaways

I have some cool news: My blog was mentioned in the Muskogee Phoenix.  Earlier this summer I wrote about Glamping at Girl Camp on Oklahoma Women Bloggers, and it is a hot topic right now. Click here for your how-to-glamp guide.

You know how Hollywood always chooses younger, prettier actresses to portray real-life people?  The Muskogee Phoenix kindly does the same thing.  Valarie Olson's photograph was featured in the article this morning and showed our pal Moria Kinsey playing...me.

Here's a link to John Kilgore's article in the Muskogee Phoenix about Camping for those not so inclined to camp. Check it our for some great glamping websites.

Photo of the article: The lovely Moria Kinsey is playing me in the photo above.

If you are looking for a weekend getaway close to home, glamping might be just right for you.

Of course, if you don't want to leave the house at all, you can grab some Wailani's Body Scrub and have a mini Hawaiian spa experience in your own shower. Thank you to everyone who entered and shared your ideal weekend getaway.

And now...

through the magic of random.org...

I'd like to congratulate Peggy for winning the mango and green tea scrub! Thank you for telling us about your grownup slumber party experience.

Email your address to brandi at brandibarnett.com, and I'll mail your prize as soon as possible. Please drop by my blog and visit again soon.

Friday Favorite: Wailani's Body Scrubs

If you've ever spent any time with me, I've probably told you about a product or place I love.  Sharing my favorite things is one of my favorite things.

Want to know one of my new favorite things?  Wailani's Body Scrub

Golden Pineapple and Salty Hibiscus (courtesy of Wailani's)

Here's why:

1. The scents are inspired by Hawaii. If I close my eyes and breathe deeply, it's like a mini vacation in the shower...as long as my kids stay out of the bathroom.
2. The ingredients are all natural and pronounceable. Read: I don't freak I'm poisoning myself for smooth skin. No fear abides in this girl for coconut oil or Kona coffee or organic flower petals.
3. It's not super oily.  Some scrubs I've purchased use ingredients that are next to impossible to remove so that if I forget to put my contacts in before I shower (seriously, who does that?), I spend the day peering through lenses damaged from an oil slick.
4.  Lisa Czlonka, the founder, is a friend of mine who lives in Oklahoma and brought her childhood in Hawaii with her.  Clearly, she likes sharing what she loves with others, too.  I like to buy from "mom and pop" businesses, maybe because one puts food on my own table or maybe because it just seems like the right thing to do. Small business owners are in close contact with what goes into a product and how their clients feel about it.  That matters to me.
5. It's a great gift.  I'm not a great gift giver, but I play one on Pinterest. My mind keeps coming up with different gift baskets. 

The morning coffee for those who drink tea. (courtesy of Wailani's)

 Kona Coffee. I am not a coffee drinker. This scrub is the closest I will ever get to the coffee craze. Maybe it's the smell or the intense scrub, but I am alert and ready for the day after having my morning Kona Coffee in the shower. Unlike me, my husband loves coffee. So, I shouldn't have been surprised when he absconded it for his own use. Gift idea: Pair it with a gift certificate to a local coffee shop and some chocolate covered coffee beans to make any coffee lover--male or female--jittery with joy (and a little caffeine).

Golden Pineapple. Citrus smells make me happy.  This scrub is like opening the window to morning sunshine.  It has a smaller grain than the Kona Coffee so keep that in mind when you consider your preferences.  I'm glad to have both. I like using the pineapple on my legs because my skin is more sensitive, and I like using the Kona Coffee for my elbows and feet. Gift idea: The pineapple is often a symbol for hospitality, so the Golden Pineapple body scrub would be a nice leave-behind after being an overnight guest. For a new homeowner, pair it with bath towels.

Salty Hibiscus. Wow.  Just wow.  I'm extremely picky about floral scents, and I adore this scrub. I wish Salty Hibiscus came in a lotion and a candle and a laundry detergent and.... The smell is not overpowering, but it is distinctly relaxing and feminine. Plus, the scrub is a pretty pink and contains actual organic flower petals. Gift idea: A lovely gift for a girly girl would be Salty Hibiscus and a gift certificate for a mani-pedi or massage. In the spirit of Hawaii, why not toss in a bikini? Yes, I'm serious. Your favorite gardener might appreciate it paired with an actual hibiscus and gardening gloves.

Warning: You'll love being indulgent so much that you might get selfish. Case in point: Lisa gave me the coffee one.  Then I bought the last two with the intention of giving them away, but used them for myself instead. This works in your favor because some lucky reader will get to select a scrub of his or her choice.

Yep. I'm giving one away.

Want a mini vacation?  Here's how you can win one of Wailani's Body Scrubs in three easy steps.

1. Check out the different body scrubs here.

2. Comment below with which one you'd like to win. Leave your contact info.

And...here's where you earn it...

3. Give me an idea for a real mini-vacation.  Tell me your favorite place to go for a long weekend.

Contest is through next Thursday at midnight.  I'll announce the winner Friday, September 13, 2013. 

Lisa Czlonka, founder of Wailani's Body Scrubs

If you missed Lisa's Tasty Tuesday contribution to my summer salad virtual potluck, check out her Kalua Pig here.

Also,  Wailani's Facebook page has all sorts of healthy tips.

Go ahead.

You can enter the contest now.

Aloha!
 

Happy Birthday, Brother

My brother had rules.
1.  Don't hug him.
2.  Don't go in his room.
3.  Don't touch anything if he allows me in said room. (His dog Yoda could drool on his pillow, but if I so much as wrinkled the comforter, I apparently left my inherently offensive sister-smell on it.)
4. Do what he says. 

He reinforced his views with backup.
Mooooom! Tell her to stop singing at the table.
Mooooom! Make her sit with her legs together.
Mooooom! She has milk-breath. (Again, the dog?)

Even then, I suspected Brett loved me.  After all, he loved his dog.  And he called me a dog so often that in the first grade I barked and walked on all-fours at school for a period of time. 

photo credit: Martha Bryant                                Disney World

As if my sheer existence wasn't embarrassing enough for a brother five years older than the little sister who idolized him, it would seem that having a dog for a sibling would push him over the edge.

It didn't.

He was too cool for that. We watched Empire Strikes Back for his 10th birthday. I've been a scifi geek--if mostly closeted--ever since.  He gave me Madonna's True Blue tape.  I memorized every word. One of my favorite memories is us blowing up his models in the field behind our house while filming it. It's no surprise I wanted to create a story to accompany the explosions, but he was the special effects guy and had no time for his little sister's nonsense.

As an adult, he put a poster of a monkey in his classroom and told his students it was a picture of his sister.  When visiting him once, a child ran up and hugged him around his kneecaps (my brother is 6'2").  Brett introduced me as his sister.  The kid's eyes widened and he whispered. "She doesn't look like her picture!"

That's when I found out I had been promoted from canine to primate.

I should not have felt as happy as I did.

In addition to being older, and therefore cooler, Brett was good at stuff I was not. Probably our biggest scholastic difference is his scientific mind. I signed up for an astronomy class in college, thinking it was astrology.  Brett became a science teacher.  One of my biology teachers accused me of asking "stupid questions" as a joke.  Another student came to my "defense" and informed her that, no, I really was that bad in science.  Such an event never happened to my brother. He created spectacular science projects.  The science fair filled me with dread, but it lit him with excitement. Most of my projects were his ideas and simple--like making a compass by rubbing a needle against a magnet. I had no ideas of my own.

He's still teaching me.

Earlier this summer, he showed up at my house with shears.  Since he's all science-y, Mother Nature likes him. Plants wilt at the sight of me. Brett has a green thumb. Mine is black. 

Every once in a while, he beautifies my neglected yard.  Most recently, he brought reinforcements.  The whole family--okay, mostly Uncle Brett and Aunt Lisa--lopped limbs, trimmed bushes, and pulled weeds for an hour or so. I tried to guess where he would next tell me to clip, but I was always wrong. Of course. A beautiful lawn is a science.

Brett and Lisa in their backyard aka Eden

 A horsefly bit him that afternoon. He shrugged as blood dripped down his leg and went on clipping. If that had been me, I would have curled into the fetal position.

Still, it was . . . fun.  Usually, the surest way to get me to cuss is to do yard work, but with our families working together it was a garden party.  Maybe next time I'll have snacks and drinks. 

I'm not sure what motivates him to help us with our yard.  Maybe he recognizes my complete incompetence with all things green.  Maybe he feels sorry for plants who can't cry as my children do to complain of thirst. Maybe he's embarrassed by how sad our lawn looks and that people know we're related.  Maybe he is just super generous and knows it makes me happy.

Whatever the reason... it really, really does make me happy. Like getting that Madonna cassette or being allowed to cross the threshold of his room and play Atari.  I looked at my front yard this morning and sighed. It was pretty. I felt cool.

And I was so glad my little ones witnessed siblings as friends who know their siblings' greatest weaknesses and faults. And they help make them right with the world.  I tried to drive the point home with my son. "Isn't it nice of Uncle Brett and Aunt Lisa to come help us?"

Max nodded. "That's what brothers do."

Indeed.

That, and compare their little sisters to animals.

photo credit: Martha Bryant

Happy birthday, Brett the Brat.


Anyone have a sibling story to share?  How does your sibling help balance you?

The Red Tent Sisterhood

I'm a sucker for sisterhoods. There's just something magical about the bonds women form. Like spider webs, they appear delicate--but those intricacies create deceptive strength.

photo credit: Valarie Olson

As I sat in my kitchen with my new friend Valarie I discovered she felt the same way.  Somehow, the conversation came around to Anita Diamant's book The Red Tent. 

We love it.

Valarie and I are both fairly new to the area and discussed how we missed monthly gatherings of women--book club, writing group, etc. We discovered how similar we are to those ancient women in the novel who gathered beneath the moon each month in their red tent and relaxed, shared, and bonded.

Gaining strength from other women must be engrained in my DNA.

We decided to create our own Red Tent Sisterhood.  We knew we wanted to meet once a month... but doing what?  I wanted to involve food because something special happens when people break bread together. Valarie suggested we exercise.

Those of you who know me well can stop snickering.

I mean it.

Really? Now you're just being insulting.

Possessing many talents, Valarie is also a yoga instructor.  She teaches at 108 Yoga Studio, an amazing gem our mutual friend Libby Rogers opened several years ago. I've met so many nice ladies since I've moved here, and like that intricate spider web I mentioned earlier, somehow many of them are connected to the studio.

And that realization was it.  On the last Monday of every month, we planned to meet for yoga and dinner. We mentioned it to friends who mentioned it to their friends.  I think the first text said something about inviting any woman who wants or needs a sisterhood. Our Red Tent Sisterhood was born. 

Libby loves glamping, so at our first dinner, she wrangled a bunch of us into her Girl Camp.

photo credit: Valarie Olson

 I was hesitant.  I mean, there would probably be bugs since outside is their house and all. I had several excuses--one of which was that Garrett was out of town on the weekend it was scheduled.

Others were completely excited.  Once Moria Kinsey mentioned costumes...well, I was in. That really should have been brought up first, right?  

photo credit: Valarie Olson

 The kids went on "vacation" with my parents and I made it to Girl Camp. And I'm so glad. Gratefully, we didn't have to sleep in non-air-conditioned red tents--but we were beneath the moon in our metaphorical red tent in spirit.

photo credit: Valarie Olson

Check me out on Oklahoma Women Bloggers this month. I'll tell you all about glamping at Girl Camp and how you can do it, too.

Friday Favorite: Foodie Friday

 Check me out over on Oklahoma Women Bloggers today. 

I tell you what my kids eat with chopsticks.

After you've mastered my recipe, click here to learn how to use chopsticks.

Happy Friday!