Armadillos jump when they're scared--and hit the oncoming car as a result.
What do I do? Smile and wave.
I'm not tough. I've never been very big. If I can infuriate someone with a smile, I win.
Warning: A couple of times this philosophy backfired in a big way.
1. After a basketball game, one of the opposing team members decided she didn't like a certain cheerleader (yeah...me) in the stands talking to a player (the friend who gave me this tile). She talked smack. At first, I acted like I didn't know she was talking to me. Then I did the "who me?" and just smiled and waved. It's a good thing I have athletic friends. That girl pounced fast, but she never touched me because it was like I had body guards who scrambled to intercept her. Go team!
2. The day before I got married, I pulled up to the edge of parking lot as a girl in a green sports car almost collided with me. Then she had the audacity to flip me off. Shocked, I smiled and waved. She backed up her car and leaped out. She beat on my window and used all of the cuss words she knew. Again, I smiled and waved. Instead of smiling in return, she jumped on my car and called me a "stupid, white trash b****." I fluttered my eyelashes and pointed to me (sitting calmly in my car as my mother nervously jotted down the psycho's license plate) and shook my head before pointing to her ON THE HOOD OF MY CAR BEATING ON MY WINDSHIELD.
Hey, if life is a parade, I'm not going to watch it pass by. I'm climbing on top of the biggest float.
Just smile and wave, ya'll.
What's your coping mechanism?
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