What a pain

I never want to be one of those people who always complain about an ache or a pain.

So, until recently, I didn't really do anything about mine except suffer. Every day. Every moment. I kept thinking it would go away eventually. During pregnancy, I experienced sciatic pain at night while I slept. It felt sort of like an jolt of electricity tingled down my left leg. After giving birth, I felt that all the time, but it was worse. There was a little cluster in my back that hurt all the time. I couldn't bend over. At all. Until recently, I never picked up Max without hurting. In home videos, I noticed that I move awkwardly because I'm trying to move in the way that hurts the least.

A couple of weeks ago, I almost dropped Max twice and my back gave out on me once and sent me to my knees. Plus, the tingling started down my right leg. It occurred to me that I was planning a first birthday party, which meant I'd hurt every day for the last year. It seemed impossible for me to fathom.

So, I made an appointment with a doctor. I'd been to him two other times in the last year and mentioned the pain, but this time the appointment was specifically for that reason. Long story short, he told me that I "just got old faster than most" and that I would "probably hurt for the rest" of my life. Yep. Seriously. You can imagine how devastated I was.

However, I'd met a therapeutic masseuse in the office one day. After a few minutes of talking she told me she thought she knew what was wrong. Last week, I went to see her and am so glad I did. At one point she shifted my hips on the table and pressed here and lifted there...and I felt nothing. No pain. No pressure. No discomfort. I almost sobbed with relief. Apparently, it's fairly common for women to get their hips out of alignment during pregnancy. Who knew? Um, apparently not the doctor!

In a book, she pointed out what was hurting and why. She poked and prodded the same places the doctor had--and I nearly leapt off the table when they both did a test. But with her, she said, "Ah, that's what I thought." With her massage and yoga exercises she instructed me to do, I've felt little to no pain for the last week.. For the first time I've been able to play with my son without wincing.

I enjoyed being a mother before, but now it's even better.

So, if you ever know in your gut that something isn't right. Don't let people tell you otherwise. Keep trying until you get what you need. It's worth it.

Journal: a secret

I loved finding notes left in the hallway when I was a teacher.

I adore my book of published private letters from famous people.

I must be a bit of a voyeur.

The idea of seeing who someone really is when they don't have a deflector shield up appeals to me. Authenticity appeals to me. No matter how honest or upfront a person is, he or she still holds secrets...

...which is why I thought this blog was so hilarious when I ran across it today.

Journal: Write about a secret.

Still moving...

Before we moved to NJ, we placed most of our things in storage. We returned to Oklahoma in January and we still have the storage building. G and I took off work today to try to move a lot of things from storage. We're hoping to have a garage sale in a couple of weeks, so we need to go through our stuff.

We didn't accomplish much.

However, we did get our books--and we all know those are really important. Even if I don't read them all the time, it's nice to have them around me. They're old friends. Some friends need to be shared with others, so we designated a box for us to put in a garage sale.

What we learned after our day of moving was that 1. we need a lot more moving time, and 2. we need a lot more bookshelves.

Journal: Personality and possessions

When I was in school, I was a mess. Literally. I felt sorry for the kids who had lockers underneath mine because books and bags and pencils usually fell on their heads out of my locker at least once a week. Even in college, it was not uncommon for me to reach into my backpack and pull out chocolate-covered papers. I'm really not a total slob, but I am easily disorganized. The funny thing is that I have always known this about myself. Usually, my book bag would have an array of side pockets and zippers and snaps to help with this problem. Often, in addition to a text book, an organizer of some sort might bop a locker mate on the head. I wonder what other things someone might learn from looking through my bookbag, purse, or suitcase.

Journal: Imagine you've discovered a bookbag, purse or suitcase. What's inside? What sort of personality traits might those items indicate?

Hooray!

I completed the detailed outline for my new book. Now all I have to do is write it. And that's one of the fun parts!

Baby Sign Language

I've tried signing with Baby Max since he was...a baby. Now, he's almost one, and he's signing back. He's signed "more" a few times. Recently, Garrett had him at the grocery store during bottle time and Max began insistently signing "milk." Unfortunately, G knew what he wanted but had forgotten to pack it. "Uh-oh" as Max likes to say.

This month we've attended two classes for Baby Sign Language. The instructor must be a saint. She calmly chatters away about signing and assigns homework while toddlers and crawlers steal the show. When things get a little out of hand, she blows bubbles or breaks into a signing song.

I can tell that Max is more receptive to signing since we've attended the class.

But the real reason to attend is the kids are hilarious. For many, this is the first real interaction they have with other little ones. I wonder how much of their personalities and reactions predict how they will be later in life.

During class, Max explores and "visits" momentarily with other children and adults in the room. Usually while missing a shoe or sock. He begins fully dressed, but as the minutes tick by he loses one shoe and one sock at a time. (The instructor actually taught us the sign for "shoe" just because of Max!) I threatened to bring him naked next time. It would save me time and laundry.

G attended this week's class with me, and he thought it was hilarious as I did. He also shared my concern that we may be too relaxed. Is it bad when your kid falls down--yet again--and all of the other parents gasp while you laugh? It's not like Max cries or anything, though. We're so accustomed to him falling into things that it's not something we get worried about anymore. If he cries, we know he's really hurt. Mostly, a tumble doesn't phase him in his journies. And he does journey.

He is incredibly easy-going. One of the little boys took a rattle that Max was playing with. It was in the center of the room, so many of us saw it and wondered what was going to happen. Instead of getting upset, Max laughed at the older boy. He tried to reach the rattle, but the other little boy was bigger and held it over his head. It made me fear the future and a bully taking something from him on the playground. I muttered, "Get him." Garrett reacted similarly. But Max just laughed. Another, smaller, little boy decided he wanted the rattle and rammed into the big kid, knocking him over and taking the rattle. Max laughed at the two boys on the ground and went off to explore some more. The parents of the big kid made the older boy give Max the rattle. Max looked at them all like they were crazy for interrupting his exploration and took off again.

In the end, I actually felt sorry for the bigger kid. He was the only one upset with the whole thing. Plus, he was a sweet little boy. He's the only one I saw going around the room trying to hug other kids and pet their hair. Max thought he was pretty cool. After watching the big boy pet another kid's head, Max imitated him.

Ah, the influence of peers already!

Northeastern Oklahoma AuthorFest

I enjoyed meeting readers and authors today at the Northeastern Oklahoma AuthorFest in Tahlequah, Oklahoma. Authors had their tables decorated thematically with their books. I had little fairies, twinkle lights, and candy. People dropped in to visit, which is always my favorite part of any book event.

One of the authors at the event was Nicci Sefton, a charming young woman from Tulsa who has self-published a teen vampire book called Luxuria. What makes Nicci so special? She just graduated high school. She began Luxuria while she was 15, and she finished it on her 16th birthday. Her next novel is set to come out around Halloween. Impressive, huh?

Many of you know I'm not a big fan of self-publishing (I prefer to be paid upfront thankyouverymuch); however, some major successes have begun in the self-publishing industry. Eragon, The Christmas Box, and The Lace Reader are a few success stories of self-published authors who made it big in the end. Many self-published works are done so because no one else wants to spend money on them to make it happen, but these authors had something special that made it happen...$BIG$.

I thoroughly enjoyed visiting with Nicci, her parents, and her best friend (who is Precious in her novel). Although I haven't read Luxuria yet, I plan to. Wearing a suit and Converse with little pandas on them, Nicci showed spunk and motivation. Her table was a marketing masterpiece complete with candle stands, flower petals, and wine goblets. Plus, did I mention she is adorable? I, for one, think this girl is someone to watch in the future. Check out her website at www.thedeadlysinsbooks.com.

Journal: a brawl

I met a guy today who had been beaten up pretty badly.

"Looks like you've been in a bad fight."

"Yep."

"I guess I can tell who won."

He grinned. "You should've seen the bobcat."

BOBCAT?!

Journal: Write about a brawl.