Although she is queen of her domain, my friend Jennifer lives in a neighborhood of princesses and a home of four princes. When a queen summons, I do her bidding.
Miss Oklahoma pageant in Tulsa to support her lovely neighbors. One was contestant Emily Ousley and the other was her "Oklahoma Star," a program in which little girls are mentored by contestants. They were both lovely.
Plus, I saw two OU Tri-Deltas were in the running, so I got all collegiate nostalgic.
Although we almost missed the pageant.
On the way there, Jen said, "If anyone were with us, they'd kill us."
Yep. But it was hilarious.
After spending an afternoon with me driving us to pedicures and tea at Dragonmoon Tea Company, Jennifer insisted on driving. She activated her On Star and said, "You have to get this."
Clearly, she didn't yet comprehend the magnitude of my geographical challenges. Like the Bermuda Triangle, my curse soon reached out and grabbed her. We barreled down the interstate, following the instructions, and encountered a giant "CLOSED" sign plastered across our route. I laughed at her surprise. This sort of thing always happened to me. She called and gathered new directions. We were to turn on 11th street. Guess what? We were at an intersection where both signs said 11th street. I kid you not. These things happen to me all the time. It's a gift.
The pageant began at 7:30. The rain began at 8:04. We arrived in the parking lot at 8:08. As we raced toward the Mabee Center, a woman eyeballed us. I called, "Did we miss the good part?" (Since I've never attended a pageant, I didn't know what that would be, but certainly there is one.) She encouraged us to hurry because we'd missed the opening number and they were about to announce the top 15.
We never found our seats, but we caught a lot of the show.
In fact, I fear we were part of the show. A pregnant lady in heels. A tired mom of three under three lugging a good-natured four-month-old. We found seats near her friends at one point, but because Baby J wasn't fond of classical music in the talent competition, we courteously sped out. Let me restate that...Jennifer was courteous. I'm pretty sure I bonked some poor guy on the head with both my purse and her diaper bag.
While watching the swimsuit competition from the aisle, an older gentleman must have been impressed with the soon-to-be crowned Betty Thompson. He looked me up and down. "Those girls don't understand women don't look like that after thirty." Hackles raised, I threw my shoulders back and pregnant belly forward. "Speak for yourself. After I had my first baby, I looked just like that." I patted my tummy. "You ought to see me next summer when I'm through with this one."
He had the nerve to grimace like he didn't believe me.
To his credit, I checked myself out in the mirror before I left for the evening and thought remember when someone told you you looked hot, and you knew they weren't thinking you needed an air conditioner and glass of iced tea?
Still... Even queen mothers should be treated with respect or they can be be a royal pain.