I suppose it makes sense that my brain turns off when asked to recall our struggle with infertility. It was an emotional experience in which I simultaneously battled my body and the cosmos. Answers, logic, and reason never applied.
"I don't think you can ever get pregnant," the doctors said.
"Genetic abnormality is the only explanation for the miscarriage," the doctors said.
"Circumstances were ideal for the transfer. We don't know why it didn't work," the doctors said.
Every menstrual period was an exclamation point on the end of our painful infertility sentence, rudely interrupting our hope.
Like many couples, we kept the secret for a long time, but last year, I shared it with anyone who was interested. You can click the video below to watch Step Right Up to the Game of Love.
Listen to Your Mother OKC
This February, on the LTYM blog, I committed to a monthly post about infertility so that other women will know they aren't alone. This post is the first one.
I almost didn't follow through. However, three women in the last couple of months have reached out to me with their struggles. After all that's happened, I still believe in signs. And I think these women were nudging me to be vocal for all of those who are searching the internet for someone else who might understand the crushing, painful, exhausting confusion of infertility.
My purpose is to give strength to those who are Parents-in-Waiting. You are not alone. Your story is unique. Each journey is your own. However, the desire to count ten tiny, perfect fingers and ten tiny, perfect toes is a common one. Check back with me each month as I share part of my journey. I'll be brave for you because I know you are mustering bravery, too.