Brandi's Blog

Writer's Wednesday: Short Story Pointers

2012-01-25T06:38:00.002-06:00

Edgar Allan Poe is considered the father of the American short story. The man knew how to tell a creepy tale.

I've taught short stories--both studying them and writing them. The most effective way to learn about short stories is considering Poe's rules.

Here are a few that will help you create a better short story.

The story can be read in one sitting.
The story focuses on one element: plot, character, theme, setting, etc.
Limit the number of characters.
Confine to a single setting.
Follow structure: exposition, inciting incident, rising action, climax, falling action, denouement. (Most of the story leads to climax. The falling action and denouement can be a paragraph or even a couple of lines.)

***Most importantly, each word or phrase is present to create a single effect/mood/emotion in the reader.

Follow these rules and you might even make Poe proud.

Go ahead and enter it in a contest. OWFI is accepting entries until February 1.

A Sure Thing? Strawberry Cookies

2012-01-16T14:36:00.000-06:00

Nothing is a sure thing.

If I carefully schedule everything at home and the office--we're talking 10 schedules--so that I can have one measly hour to write or go to yoga, fate (that brat) will intervene to remind me who is boss.

If I stay up late on Pinterest to find activities to dazzle my three-year-old son, he will be unimpressed. He will stare at me in disappointment when I present the color/number wheel game I made with matching clothespins. Pipe cleaners and finger paint will fail miserably, too. His thrill of the day will be when we pour baking soda and vinegar down a drain to unclog it.

The only sure thing...is that nothing is a sure thing

So, imagine my surprise when I discovered something that made everyone in my house smile. Strawberry cookies! My son loves how pretty and pink they are. I love how easy and tasty they are. Even my health nut husband ventured a nibble and said, "Those are some good cookies."

The best surprise of all was when I felt little arms surround me and heard, "Mommy, I love you."

Magic cookies. Thank you, Taste and Tell blog.

Are you ready for the recipe?

Mix 1/2 cup vegetable oil with 2 eggs.

Add strawberry cake mix and 1/2 cup coconut.

Drop onto cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 8 minutes.

A strawberry cookie may not be a sure thing, but it sure is a sweet one.

Thomas the Train and Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer

2012-01-10T21:28:00.002-06:00

Well, "bust my buffers." I can't believe my little ol' blog causes such a ruckus. An entry in August has quickly become my most read.

Why?

I suspect some people got upset when I suggested that Thomas the Train mixed sexism with its message of being nice, working hard, and being honest. I also mentioned that, according to Google, lots of others agreed.

Boy, mention sexism and some people have a one track mind. You'd think I'd suggested it promotes communism.

Causing "confusion and delay" is not my intent. And not to take anyone off track, but may I suggest that when one considers the time period in which the story originated the original show isn't sexist, but merely old-fashioned? Although some people say communist.

This thought occurred to me as I watched the 1964 classic Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer with my family. (Let's just get this out of the way: we all know you should watch tv with your kid and teach him or her your values, not expecting entertainment to do it for you. That's kind of the point of this blog entry.) When Rudolph ran away, Donner tells Mrs. Donner to stay home because looking for Rudolph was "man's work." Those silly female reindeer didn't stay home, though. Mrs. Donner and Rudolph's girlfriend go out to look for him anyway. Later, the narrator says, “They were all very sad about their friend, but they knew the best thing was to get the women back to Christmas Town." (What would their plans have been otherwise--hang around and play reindeer games?)

Is Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer sexist? What about Thomas?

Well, our world changes. In defense of Rudolph, only one of these stories has the opportunity, as it moves from station to station and series to series, to change.

Thomas the Tank Engine first appeared in a book in 1946. The first appearance in a tv series was 1984. Thomas chugged onto American tv in 1989. It has had several overhauls.

The original characters were male. Emily wasn't introduced until Season 7. Season 10 brought Rosie. Assorted smaller female characters have been added as well.

What does that tell me?

Someone else thought the show was a little sexist, or old-fashioned, too.

Friday Favorite: Pinterest

2012-01-06T10:31:00.002-06:00

My Space was all the craze. I easily passed on that trend. I finally relented to Facebook a few years ago and am somewhat active. I can't get the knack of Twitter. Linked in? No, thank you.

Then the buzz about Pinterest began.

Ugh! Do I have to do another social media? I don't have time for this.

People talked about it differently than the others. They didn't say, "Oh, you have to try it!" Instead, they were too busy trying everything on it.

At Christmas, my cousins finally convinced me to venture forth into the world of Pinterest.

It's addictive.

My life will never be the same. Thank you, Pinterest.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T13:47:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!

I've done my part in starting it off right.

Reviewed last year's list of goals to celebrate those obtained and evaluate those that weren't.

Revised goals for 2012.

Eaten black eyed peas for luck.

So, 2012, bring it. I'm ready.

Friday Favorite: Christmas Activities

2011-12-30T07:43:00.000-06:00

Our big family holiday is always special to me. Now that I have children, though, I wanted to pack even more into December. So, I made a list of memories and called them "Christmas surprises." Some nights it was even a surprise to me when we ended up doing one. We had a blast! Here are a few from our list.

Get cute photos of the kids. The Christmas card episode almost ruined this for me, but we had so many cute clothes for Alexandra that the opportunities were easy. Below is the onesie Aunt Lisa bought her that says, "My Auntie Knows Santa." I stuck her in the tutu and in a leopard chair so that years from now she can say, "Ma--aaawm! I can't believe you put me in that skirt. And your chair was ugly." But for now, she's happy.

Make fudge. Few turn down this holiday treat. Since I don't cook a lot, I usually mess up the first batch. Not this year! Another first? I made several batches without uttering a single profanity. My sous-chef made all the difference.

Advent Calendar. My mother made this calendar when my brother and I were small. Hopefully, the kids will enjoy it as much as we did. Max seemed to...when I remembered.

Festival of Lights Parade.

Decorate cookies with the grands. After looking at the ingredients of pre-made icing, I decided to make my own for the first time and was pleasantly surprised with the sheer ease and yumminess of it.

Tour local holiday lights while wearing pajamas. Max disappointed me by refusing to wear his adorable Santa pajamas. In return, I disappointed him when I announced his surprise was to look at lights. After we were on our way and he realized the activity wasn't a trip to Lowe's to shop for 60 watt bulbs, his trust in me was restored.

Watch Frosty the Snowman and make our own snowflakes. After making a mess of the floor and creating some crazy looking snowflakes, I finally Googled a how-to. The results? Beautiful!

Ice skate.

Visit Santa. Max broke line, rushed to the bearded man in the red suit--and simply stared. After playing with a train and getting the stink-eye from an elf when another little boy knocked the train off its track, Max summoned his courage to sit in Santa's lap and mumble his request. Two face-down-and-belly-on-the-floor tantrums later, he wanted to see Santa again for another piece of candy. Glad that experience only comes once a year!

Write letter to Santa. I kept the letter for a scrapbook...that I'll make...someday. G scanned the letter and emailed to Santa. Those elves are high-tech now.

Make cupcakes. This one wasn't my idea, but I'm glad he momentarily centered on the giving nature of the holiday. His heart was set on it, so I took out my Sprinkles cupcake mix from William Sonoma and got to work. They were delicious.

Tour Garden of Lights.

Set out cookies for Santa. The first Christmas he fell asleep. The second year, he was sick. Last year, he wasn't too interested. But I had high hopes. This year, he thoughtfully chose the cookie his dad had decorated and placed it on a stand. Then he considered milk, but Grandmary convinced him that Santa would go to the fridge if he needed some. In the morning, Max noticed a bite out of the cookie and an empty milk glass. He figured Santa ate a lot of cookies throughout the night and was pleased he tried ours.

As I reflect on the fun times we had and look at the pictures, I notice two things: 1) I really need to do something about my hair. 2) We should paint the walls as soon as the kids are old enough to stop writing on them.

Hmmm. Guess I have a start to those New Year's Resolutions.

Writer's Wednesday: Beyond the Farthest Star by Dee Dee Chumley

2011-12-28T11:20:00.001-06:00

Beyond the Farthest Star is a new young adult book by my critique buddy Dee Dee Chumley.

Yay, Dee Dee! (insert toe touches here)

The novel has a distinct Christian leaning, but teens of all religious affiliations will enjoy it. After all, what girl hasn't felt the need for a guardian angel? If that angel is a hunky, mysterious boy, then all the better.

Because it makes such a great gift, the small press tried to get it out in time for Christmas. As a result, it has limited release at this point. Ask your local book store for the book published by G.I.S. G. Heavenly Publishing. ISBN: 978-1-105-19531-0

You'll be glad you did!

Friday Favorite: Skate Date

2011-12-23T23:22:00.000-06:00

At Max's birthday party this summer, we heard our little city might have an outdoor skating rink this holiday season. I've been excited about it ever since. This week, we finally got out there and experienced it for ourselves.

My brother and sister-in-law met us at a nearby restaurant and then watched Alexandra while I skated with my boys.

My brother always avoids the paparazzi (me)

My brother calls her a baby hog, but we call her the Baby Whisperer. We love Aunt Lisa!


Lacing the skates took almost as long as our actual time on the ice!

Hanging out afterward, we watched the amazing Zamboni!

Ok. Maybe not a real Zamboni.

We had a blast! I hope to do it again before New Year's Day when the rink closes up.

I think I know how the kids felt when they learned Frosty had to go away.

5th Annual Inklings Christmas Tea

2011-12-22T23:01:00.000-06:00

The month of December is rife with festivities. One of my favorites is my writing group's Christmas party. It is the only time of the year we allow ourselves to meet when we don't work on writing. Sure, we talk about writing. For instance, this year we discussed Dee Dee's upcoming release. Mostly we get really caffeinated, nosh on yummy treats, laugh a lot, and exchange gifts.

Five years ago, Sonia, our tea expert, first introduced the idea to our group with a great tea room with hats to wear.

The festive mood was amplified since a group of little girls had a tea party nearby. In addition to hats, the girls had access to a trunk full of fancy dress up clothes. It became clear to me then: Girls of all ages enjoy tea parties. The next year we went to Inspirations Tea Room in Edmond, and we've returned every year.

We'd tried various methods of gift exchange, but Lisa, our member who can pull a party out of her purse, promoted the idea of SWAG (Stuff We All Get). I love it! And I'm always impressed with everone's ability to shop and give the perfect gift for under $5. (One year Kelly gave us Harney and Sons tea samples and I fell in love with Paris.)

Did the Fireside Poets have this much fun together? Did Percy and Mary Shelley have as many laughs with Lord Byron and John William Polidori?

In making such comparisons am I having delusions of grandeur? Maybe.

Okay, yeah, probably.

But I plan to have a bookshelf filled with books by the Inklings--and I'll nestle a few in from Friends of the Inklings like Lela Davidson, Sara Hoklotubbe, William Bernhardt and more.

O' Holy Moly Night

2011-12-20T20:27:00.001-06:00

Now that I have children, I can identify with the Christmas story.

No, I'm not talking about the nativity, the "reason for the season."

I'm talking about A Christmas Story...

... with the leg lamp and a little boy who just wants a Red Ryder BB gun but instead gets all sorts of torture...like visiting Santa.

What is it about this holiday that makes perfectly sane people go bonkers?

I witnessed a woman attempting to coax a smile from her terrified child in Santa's lap by dancing around with a stuffed reindeer and jingle bells. I couldn't tell which the child feared more--the big fuzzy man in red or the antics of his mother. Her husband didn't participate, but he still looked like he'd claim her.

I wouldn't.

Those who know me know that my family is not the kind that's at church every time the doors are open. So, when my son asked if we should make a cake since Christmas is a birthday party for Jesus, I thought maybe we're doing something right.

Then again, maybe he just wants cake.

Friday Favorite: Terrorist Chickens and Truck Beds

2011-12-16T07:22:00.001-06:00

My hubby is a suburbanite. He's lived in suburbs all over the country, so moving to a small town required a shift in point of view from a cultural perspective. What is normal in Suburbia does not always apply here--and vice versa. When I first moved to Suburbia, I marveled at the stylish teens. If it was in the mall one day, it was on their bodies the next. Members of a small town take shopping trips to a larger city, shop the local stores, or go to WalMart. If a little thing like clothes stymied me, I can't imagine the battle going on inside the brain of my the-world-is-black-and-white-husband.

Lately, he's experienced a few important milestones in his rite of passage to being a true citizen of Ruralville.

The other day he entered the post office and the cacophony that met his ears made him suspect a terrorist attack. Then a woman walked past him with a big grin on her face. She didn't have a gun in her hand, and the noise continued so he figured he was safe. He rounded the corner to see a long line of people... and chickens. Did you know you can mail chickens?

Small towns love parades. Each December, at least a thousand people line the street at night in 20 degree temperatures for a couple of hours to look at floats and cars lit up like Christmas trees. Our family business has been around since WWII, but we've never been in the parade. I made it my mission to make that happen this year. The theme was The Songs of Christmas. Garrett immediately popped off with "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."

My ninety-year-old grandma was in. However, the chilling temperatures (and good sense) confined her to the warm cab while Garrett dressed up like Grandma instead.

Before I told Garrett that a lady sits with her knees together

Rudolph Lisa kept the stockings filled with candy

He and Max waved at people from a wicker sofa in the truck bed while the rest of our office handed out candy from stockings.

Reindeer Linda and her cute elves

Krystle and Kasha

Some people think that dressing in drag during a parade is a big city event, but clearly we do it in small towns, too.

After the parade Garrett experienced another first. The kids were secured in their car seats. The other seats were occupied by my mother and grandmother. Garrett and I bundled up in the comforter and cuddled on the wicker sofa as my father whisked us through town to our car. At one point, we wondered if he remembered we were back there. Without seatbelts. Without anything securing the furniture to the truck. To calm my nerves, I tried to pretend we were in a horse drawn carriage. (I have a scar on my head from riding in a truck bed at age four and getting friendly with the pavement.) Garrett had a great time, though. You're just not small town until you've ridden in the back of a truck.

He can check those off his bucket list.

Writer's Wednesday: Emmy Lee is my Frenemy by Lisa Marotta

2011-12-14T07:43:00.000-06:00

You know how your child loves your iPhone and iPad? Well, MeeGenius is a new kind of publishing house that provides beautiful online books--for kids. They even have a tab for free books.

In September, MeeGenius began a contest in search of a new picture book author. My friend and critique buddy Lisa Marotta is in the contest with a story to which many children (and adults) relate. Click here to read her manuscript and vote.

Check out the other entries, too. They're great! Voting ends December 18.

Happy 3 months, baby girl!

2011-12-13T14:01:00.000-06:00

Our little girl turned three months old on Friday. I pulled out a onesie purchased when we lived on the east coast--just in case we ever had another baby.

When Max was one month old, I plopped him in the same chair dressed in similar attire (minus the bow and tutu).

Warning: Cliche Ahead.

They grow up so fast.

Mommy Monday: Christmas Card Photography Advice

2011-12-05T08:37:00.000-06:00

Silent night

Holy night

All is calm....

All is calm...

Oh, never mind.

Saturday morning I went a little (chest) nuts (roasting on an open fire) and decided to take Christmas card pictures at home. Thinking I was completely prepared, I laid out a number of outfits and accessories, prepared my husband for exactly how we would pose the children and grabbed my iPhone. I figured we'd have this project knocked out in ten minutes.

Stop laughing.

That's right. I don't know squat about taking photos of children and certainly don't have a fancy camera.

It did not go well.

Later, I told my hubby I was ashamed of myself for freaking out. Garrett said he didn't think the kids noticed my meltdown and that the concern for my mental welfare was contained to him. In fact, Max thought the chaos was great fun. I most certainly did not.

So, my Christmas gift to you is the following links. May they help you take family photos without tears, bribery, begging, threats, guilt, or any other embarrassing mistakes.

Family Portraits Do's and Dont's Don't #4 is Don't Let Mom Run the Show. Ha! Just let her try. She'll see who's boss.

Five Tips for Young Family Portraits Tip # 2 is avoiding posing. Um, yeah. Lesson learned.

Five Tips for Photographing Children The expression game idea is inspired.

Digital Photography School shares amazing tutorials. Perhaps if I'd found it before the photo session, I could have snapped more photos like the one below. Then again, if I hadn't exhausted her with the insanity, perhaps this shot would never have happened. After all, in a moment of desperation, I asked, "What do you mean you won't hold her? What if we put Baby Sister in your Tonka truck? Would you like that?"

Toddler Tuesday: Lessons From My Dragon

2011-11-29T08:00:00.005-06:00

Max: Dragons eat stars. That's why they breathe fire.

Interesting.

Max: I'm a dragon. You're my princess.
Me: What's Daddy?
Max: He's an ogre.

Thought so.

Max: (adjusting my plastic headband so that it fits like a circlet) Mommy, do you have a real crown?
Me: (pausing) Yes, I do.
Max: Thought so. Go get it.

I rummage through the closet to find an eighteen year old tiara and present it to my son.

Max: Let me put it on you. (He crowns me.) That's better. I love you, Princess Mommy.
Me: I love you, too, my little dragon.

Who says being Prom Queen doesn't have real life applications?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T17:57:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving from my little turkeys!

Make note: Next time a woman with a toddler and a two-month-old says, "Let's go out for Thanksgiving--it will be easier," hand her a cookbook and some chicken broth. She doesn't know what she's thinking.

But this is how memories are made. Many times today, I thought of this great blog entry on Ashley Riherd's blog, gritted my teeth, and counted my blessings.

I insisted on pictures. It was a chore.

taking the long route to my lap

Don't they look happy?

the grands 2011

4 generations of female turkeys

But we got through it.

And I have pics to commemorate Alexandra's first Thanksgiving.

And those little turkeys...well, they top my list of things for which I am thankful.

My manna from heaven.

National Novel Writing Month

2011-11-23T14:00:00.000-06:00

...and miles to go before I sleep...

November is National Novel Writing Month! Writers celebrate this month in various ways. Check out how my writing friend Lisa spends NaNoWriMo.

I already have a novel, so I'm spending the month on revisions. With the help of my hubby, I've been able to spend an hour every day this month on writing. Considering I have a three year old and a 10 week old, this small amount of allotted time is cause for celebration. I really hope it becomes a habit on the part of my entire family.

So far, I've taken my critique group's line edits and am going page by page. Easy changes are made on the spot. Those that require more thought or manipulation of characters or another scene or chapter are put off until later. I write those in a journal.

Progress is fun.

How do you NaNoWriMo?

Writer's Wednesday: The Hunger Games

2011-11-16T07:21:00.029-06:00

I'm a big fan of the young adult novel The Hunger Games. I blogged about it here, here, and here. It's one of those books that makes me miss teaching because I'd love to discuss it with teenagers.

Prepare yourself.

First we had the book to movie mania of Harry Potter, then Lord of the Rings, and most recently Twilight. Now, movie goers are ready for some science fiction. The Hunger Games will be in theaters on March 23, 2012.

Who else is excited?

Peeta, the boy with the bread

Katniss and Gale hunting

So...what do you think?

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Toddler Tuesday: Siblings

2011-11-15T08:45:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, my friend Ange told Max she was going to take Alexandra home.
He cried, "NOOOOO!"
"Why not?" she asked.
Fists clenched, he said, "Because she's my sister and I love her!"

I thought we had really accomplished something in the parenting department regarding sibling rivalry.

Then we had another conversation recently. Note: brother is pronounced brudder in Max dialect.

Max: Where do you buy a brother?
Me: You know where Alexandra came from. You can't buy people.
Max: Grow me a brother, PLEASE.
Me: We have Alexandra.
Max: Put her outside and buy me a brother.

Friday Favorite: Thank you to our Veterans--home and abroad

2011-11-11T07:52:00.001-06:00

When Veteran's Day rolls around, I always think of "veterans" in flashes of made up black and white photographs from my mind's eye. These images all have a distinctly WWII vibe. I think it's my way of distancing myself from the hard truth.

Kind of like that kid who thinks food just shows up at the grocery store.

In reality, men and women sacrifice every day so I can eat Oreos and enjoy my kids and vote my conscience and have a business and drive a car and have a full tummy and be warm at night and.... be an American.

My husband and I are lucky enough to know friends and family members who have served or are currently serving in the military. They aren't black and white photos. They're flesh and blood citizens with whom we've shared laughter, food, and memories.

I'm in awe of their bravery and grateful for their service--and for the service of their families.

Two of my sorority sisters posted the following link on their Facebook pages regarding 10 Things You May Not Know About Military Wives It's worth a read.

Mommy Monday: Newborn language and getting through the night

2011-11-07T08:23:00.002-06:00

Before my son was born, I created a three ring binder. In it were tidbits of information from books, websites, hospital handouts, friends, etc. Anything I thought I might need when baby came home, I placed on color-coded sheets of paper in that black folder. My family teased me that I'd created a how-to manual.

Not quite.

Alexandra, my second baby, is 8 weeks old. I've reached for the binder only a few times for her, and each time it was to brush up on Dunstan's baby language . The binder is my baby to English dictionary as I trudge through a foreign land during the dark, late hours.

The gist of Dunstan's baby language is that babies cry for only a few reasons. If one truly listens, the baby explains exactly what he or she needs.

Here's a run-down for you:

Neh--I'm hungry.

Owh--I'm sleepy. (I never heard this from either of my children.)

Heh--I'm stressed out and uncomfortable. (Maybe child is hot, cold or needs diaper. In my experience, this one can be used in conjunction with others.)

Eairh--I have lower gas. (Rubbing the tummy, patting the bum, or bicycling legs worked wonders on my babies.)


Eh--I need to burp. (This one sounds a lot like the lower gas one, but they're a similar problem. In my experience, sometimes babies will mix both words. I just tried to remedy both situations and would eventually solve it.)

If you have a newborn, try listening. You'll be glad you did.

Friday Favorite: Halloween was a treat!

2011-11-04T07:57:00.002-05:00

This year was the first year Max really got into the spirit of Halloween. Some friends came over with their boys and we went on the candy hunt. Garrett and I had our costumes from attending a local event, so we decided to wear them with the kids.

Max is a dragon, and he's been calling me his princess. I'm glad he doesn't call me a witch.

We couldn't leave our house unmanned, so my parents and grandmother came over to hand out candy and toys. We always thought we had quite a few trick or treaters on Halloween night, and this year my dad counted--187 little gouls and boys!

After a few houses, Max told a man handing out candy "I got enough. No thank you." I think the guy was offended. We were elated.

The most terrifying event of the week was when we had to take our seven week old baby to the emergency room. She fell out of her car seat--head first--onto a hard wood floor. Luckily, she's fine. Parents, be warned that those handles aren't always in position when you think they are.

Max decided Alexandra's boo-boo was okay immediately on impact. Obviously, the experience wasn't nearly as frightening for him. After all, he'd recently been out in the moonlight among people who created a cemetery in their front yard with zombies who handed out candy.

Being the stellar mom that I am, I made the mistake of giving him fodder for nightmares.

In an effort to deter him from picking his nose, I told him that nose goblins might bite off his finger. After a week of Halloween festivities, that is what kept him up last night. This morning he was jubilant. "Mommy! Mommy! I still have my fingers!"

Writer's Wednesday: Haunting at Seminary Hall

2011-11-02T08:27:00.003-05:00

It wasn't until the tour began and they told a few ghost stories that I realized what I'd done.

I was on a tour of a haunted building.

What the hell was I thinking?

Commercials for scary movies give me nightmares, so what was I doing in an old building rumored to be filled with ghosts of children and a crabby old school marm?

The place and its hauntings inspired my friend Sonia Gensler's book The Revenant. She had a book signing. She's pictured below during her book talk.

We hope she'll do it again next year. It was even more fun to hear her add to the tour regarding events in the book.

The tour was creepy. The scream? Yeah, it was me. It turns out that a ghost wasn't opening a door--but a woman falling into a door handle sure sounds like it. We lost part of the people on our tour because they were listening to what may have been a ghost typing. I heard it, too, but, believe me, I didn't even think about stopping.

Below are Martha and Karen from our writing group with Sonia in front of Seminary Hall.

Sonia and I are in this one--and it looks like I have no arms! The scary part, though, is that they talked about how a lot of the photos in the haunted places have orbs. Um...do you see the big orb above our heads?

Another reported haunting is that of footsteps up and down the hall. So... you have to wonder when you see this on the ceiling.

Sonia brought my family Halloween themed cupcakes. They were delicious.

Perhaps the scariest part of the evening was my son's behavior. He may have chosen the princess cupcake but the growling was all boy. Sonia's expression conveys my feelings exactly.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T06:37:00.002-05:00

We've been gearing up for Halloween all week. Here are a few highlights:

We've seen black cats:

Max in '08


Alexandra in '11

We've played with pumpkins:

Max and his friend carved a pumpkin with Miss Bailey. Well, she did. She claimed they didn't even want to scoop the goop!

Max hammered veggies onto a pumpkin at school. They said he knew his way around a hammer.

We've had excitement about candy:

Aunt Lisa gave Alexandra the "Bling on the candy" onesie.


Cousin Kent gave Max the "Will trade sister for candy" shirt.

We've enjoyed our Monster Meal:

You are supposed to see a two-headed monster on a swamp of spinach.

Three of the grands joined us for our second annual Monster Meal.

Dirt for dessert

Happy Halloween!

Friday Favorite: Sooner Born and Sooner Bred

2011-10-28T09:51:00.006-05:00

My husband and I met at the University of Oklahoma, so our kids truly are "Sooner born and Sooner bred."

We were excited when my hubby and dad took Max to his first football game.

They tailgated.

They gave Max popcorn and Cheetos for dinner.

They saw the Sooner Schooner.

They hung out in the stands.

They hung out a long time in the stands because it stormed and the game was delayed. They learned that a kitchen trash bag makes a good poncho for a three year old, but not a grown man. They decided to come home before the game ever began. But that's okay. Max had a great time. He doesn't know the Sooners ended their winning streak, and he doesn't know he didn't see them actually play. As far as he knows, he had the full experience. And he loved it.

Let the indoctrination begin!

Writer's Wednesday: Revision

2011-10-26T08:53:00.005-05:00

More than once I've heard successful female authors talk about writing books while they had babies at home. I wondered how they did it.

Now I know.

It's like eating and showering and everything else when you have babies at home.

Somehow, you manage.

I don't like crumbs on the kitchen counter or piles of clothes in the laundry room. I don't like my office email inbox increasing. I don't like thinking I've returned friends' phone calls only to discover it was in a dream or my imagination only. I don't like fewer than nine hours of sleep at night.

But, hey, since having children makes those things happen anyway, I'm attempting to embrace the reality.

In stolen moments that could result in a neater home/inbox/social calendar, I'm revising my novel.

And just like my new life with kids, the revisions are great.

TV Tuesday: Project Runway

2011-10-25T08:54:00.000-05:00

I always enjoy having Tim Gunn in my living room.

But another season of Project Runway is almost over.

I choose my designers similarly to how I choose my favorite protagonists. Heroines fall into two categories: 1) Those I like or with whom I can identify 2) Those who possess qualities I want to emulate. If a designer can create clothes that make me feel the same way, I'm a fan.

Viktor, Anya, Joshua, Kimberly

Each of the four finalists has a specific point of view. Each of the four have made clothes I coveted. Consistently, though, this season, I'm a fan of two:

Viktor Luna

and

Anya Ayoung-chee

Friday Favorite: Was blind but now I see

2011-10-21T22:16:00.000-05:00

Lasik surgery was amazing.

I just wish someone would have told me to wait until after I had children. Apparently hormones are mischievous with eyesight. After having my son I had to get glasses again.

So, six weeks after my daughter was born, I wasn't surprised to notice I wasn't seeing too well again.

It did alarm me I could wear my prescription sunglasses over my contacts and still not see as well as I'd like.

All day I worried about my eyesight. Thankfully the sunglasses kept me from being a road hazard.

That night I went to remove my contacts and reached for their container.

Contacts were still there.

Now that was a quick recovery.

Mommy Monday: Swaddlers Sensitive

2011-10-17T10:36:00.001-05:00

Babies are like little noisy Rubik's Cubes, but with Swaddlers Sensitive diapers there's one less mystery to uncover.

Blue stripe: Change diaper
Yellow stripe: Feed, burp, soothe, or try something else. It's not the diaper.

Yep. That easy.

So... you know how some people annoy parents by gifting noisy toys or ones with lots of parts? Well, here's a gift to buy that will make any new parent think of the giver fondly in the most stressful of times.

TV Tuesday: Gossip Girl

2011-10-11T07:23:00.002-05:00

Sometimes people do things when no one is looking.

When everyone else is asleep, I devour baked goods while watching shows on tv that are pretty.

Based on a series of young adult novels by Cecily von Ziegesar, Gossip Girl's poor little rich kids aren't exactly who you want your teens emulating.

Still, I could easily watch this show on mute. The clothes and most of the cast are equal in their eye candy status.

In the novel I'm currently revising, Chase Crawford, who plays Nate Archibald, is the physical model for one of my characters.

Meet Zac in my current novel. Pretty, isn't he?

The lovely Blake Lively, who plays Serena van der Woodsen, usually sports an expensive, teeny-tiny skirt.

Alas, I will miss Leighton Meester who declared this season her last. I love her style on screen and off. I'm glad it looks like she will get her "prince" on the show (one way or the other).

Many other cast members are as pretty as their characters are soap opera-y. You'll just have to watch to see.

Writer's Wednesday: Out of Print Clothing

2011-10-05T07:38:00.000-05:00

Need a gift for you or someone else?

Out of Print is an online shop for a cause. Not only do you get cool looking stuff, but you can feel good about it, too.

Check out their mission here. For each shirt you purchase, they donate a book to a community who needs it through their partnership Books for Africa.

They use incredible artwork from the covers of books--many of which are now out of print.

I like this Pride and Prejudice sweatshirt...

...and this Wuthering Heights tee.

I may purchase this one for hubby for Christmas.

My love for this site isn't only about clothes.

These e-reader covers may trick you into thinking you're holding the real thing. How cool are they? Plus, they are made in the USA.

Happy shopping!

Mommy Monday: 5 ways to belch a baby

2011-10-03T07:00:00.002-05:00

As a baby, my son rarely spit up or burped. Our delicate looking daughter, on the other hand, regularly behaves like a drunken pirate. She guzzles until she can't contain anymore, belches loudly, spits up profusely, hiccups, and wants more.

I even took her to the doctor because I thought it was abnormal.

It's not.

Nights are the worst. The poor little thing whimpers in gaseous pain.

So, of course, I was happy to discover this little blog entry at 2 AM one morning on Tripi's Baby Tips and Tricks.

Oh, and in case you didn't know...babies are supposed to be patted on the lower back, not between the shoulder blades, to achieve burp-dom. Two babies and many sleepless nights later, I'm glad I finally learned this...today.

TV Tuesday: Sitcoms

2011-09-27T17:18:00.000-05:00

The New Girl

LOVE IT!

Zooey Deschanel is as quirky and funny as ever. My guess: Douchebag Jars popped up all over apartments with obnoxious roomates everywhere. My wish: The two dumped people fall in love. My hope: The chemistry of the cast remains hilarious without Damon Wayans, Jr. who is already committed to Happy Endings.

Two and a Half Men

WAITING AND SEEING

I was so done with the show a season and a half ago that I removed it from our DVR. The jokes were reruns and, based on his history with prostitutes and alleged spousal abuse, it seemed like we were watching Charlie Sheen's life. After the events of the summer, the world discovered perhaps we were. Out of curiosity, we added it back to our DVR. I'm not sure how I felt about Ashton Kutcher's character.

My guess: Kutcher's character is a dumb pretty boy like he mastered in That 70s Show.
My wish: He has more original substance--like he has Aspberger's or something.
My hope:The characters grow and change with clever writing.

2 Broke Girls.
SHOWS POTENTIAL

I was pleasantly surprised, and it wasn't just because the dirt bag boyfriend had incredible abs.

Which he did.

Admit it: His abs are worth watching the pilot

My guess: Sex will continue to be at the forefront of this show since it is from the creators of Sex and the City.
My hope: The characters stay fairly realistic in their financial status--unlike a certain waitress with an incredible apartment on Friends.
My wish: The creators of the show continue to remember that a comedy's purpose is simply to make viewers laugh.

Writer's Wednesdsay: Books and Travel

2011-09-21T08:11:00.001-05:00

Books take us places we've never been. But they also inspire us to see those places for ourselves.

I was downright giddy when I found the spot where Shakespeare's Globe had stood. Going inside the replica was almost as cool.

My friend Ange is in Asia now. I remember she was a big fan of Amy Tan. Plus, I know we read The Good Earth in high school. Hmm. Definitely need to know if literature influenced her desire. She was a big fan of The Lord of the Rings, and after watching the movies, she went to New Zealand.

My friend Sonia travels to Oxford with her husband every year, and she's a huge fan of English literature and television.

My friend Stephanie had to go to Italy after watching/reading Under the Tuscan Sun.

My mother has traveled the world, but before she did, she longed to see the antebellum mansions of the South due to great books like Gone With the Wind .

Have you ever traveled anywhere because a book made you want to go?

Friday Favorite: Maximus and Alexandra

2011-09-16T12:03:00.000-05:00

Maximus and Alexandra.

Doesn't that sound like an epic love story?

Hope so.

Our hope is that our children will love and cherish each other as the best friend he and she is intended to be.

It's looking good so far. Even before she was born, Max vowed not to hit her. He also declared he would teach her to pee standing up like a big boy. Since her arrival, he's offered her his favorite toys and told her to pick one with which to play. If that's not three-year-old devotion, I don't know what is.

And it's not a one-way street. She reacts to him. As soon as he enters a room, she opens her eyes. In utero, she responded to his voice, and now she adores his little pats and coos. The other day he kissed her foot and she smiled. Gas? That's what "they" say. But nothing can take away the delight in his eyes when he saw her response.

Dr. Max could hardly wait to hold her.

Dr. Max holding Baby A in hospital

His affection for her grew when she gave him a Hess truck for being her big brother.

Holding his new truck and examining the parking garage

He encourages her tummy time efforts by rewarding her with stickers.

Note that those are Bob the Builder stickers, a favorite

He offers visitors candy to welcome her arrival.

Caught in the act! He claims he doesn't like chocolate.

Max really wants to play with her, so we're trying to catch her up.

Babies supposedly respond well to black and white images. I couldn't find the cards my mom and I made for Max, so I made some more. Look at her! She seems to enjoy studying.

Plus, she has hair! I have a baby with hair!

Baby's first flashcards

And I'll close with my favorite photo of Alexandra so far. How adorable is this outfit her Aunt Lisa and Uncle Brett gave her? I've ordered these pics from the hospital, so kindly ignore the sheer ghetto-ness of the imprint reminding everyone that the photo was for web-viewing only.

Alexandra Celeste

9-9-11

4:13 PM

6 pounds 13 ounces

19 1/2 inches

Baby Girl: Welcome to the World!

2011-09-14T08:05:00.004-05:00

"Morbid" was the only word I could use to express to my husband how I felt. The night before, I'd made him promise that if he had to choose between the baby and me, he would choose her.

We both figured it was hormones talking.

After all, I was scheduled for surgery in the morning and I really didn't want it. Nor did I feel I needed one because I'd had acupuncture and Baby Girl felt back in position.

Once settled in my snazzy delivery room with a tube in my hand and a few paper bracelets, I was asked if nursing students could witness the doctor try to turn the baby. Why not? So, I may have been the only person in the room who wasn't surprised when the ultrasound showed Baby Girl head down and ready to meet the world. The nursing students looked disappointed, but one returned later and asked a lot of questions about acupuncture.

No c-section! Hurray!

8:00 am. Induction began.
8:30 am. Pitocin dripped.

Contractions were subtle. Until they weren't.

Garrett and my mother used acupressure points to help ease the pain until they convinced me I was cranky enough to get an epidural--a mere 6 hours after labor began. With Max, I labored 15 hours before consenting to an epidural. Then I went to sleep, woke up and had a baby six hours later. I requested the same easy labor of Dr. Donnelly and the nursing staff. Nurse Candice smiled and said she'd do what she could.

Although contractions were stronger this second time around, my body didn't move too quickly. The epidural was at 2:15 pm and my temperament was the only obvious change. When Garrett and my mom returned, I was smiling and eating a cherry popsicle with no pain whatsoever. At 3:45 pm, things were progressing a little, but we figured my sweet doctor would miss the delivery and a different shift of nurses would be on duty by the time Alexandra made an appearance. Considering Max's long delivery, I made a final comment on Facebook at 4:01 pm and rolled over to take a nap.

But then I remembered my nurse's parting words: If you feel any pressure, give me a call.

Good thing I didn't go to sleep.

4:13 pm Alexandra Celeste was born!

Thanks to the epidural I was in absolutely no pain. I mean, seriously, folks, my body responds to those drugs like a dream. I was alert and joking with them all as they hustled to prepare and after they moved Baby Girl across the room.

Alexandra had brown hair and looked dainty and delicate. She was purple. They assured me she was fine. The nurses were euphoric and a distinct atmosphere of happiness and awe filled the air. "Did you know she came in to have a c-section?" "...acupuncture..." "...it happened so fast..." "...the baby looks like her..."

But they still hadn't returned my baby to me. The doctor calmly explained something about having difficulty with my placenta and that sometimes they attach to the uterus and cause some extra bleeding....

I watched my baby. I watched Garrett watch our baby.

Chills crept across my body.

"I'm cold."

A nurse assured me. "It feels that way when you lose blood. You're okay."

The room felt like a freezer.

I tried watching the baby, but a couple of nurses and the doctor were in my way. Every once in a while they moved so I could see a glimpse of her. She looked less purple. Why hadn't they given her to me?

My mom looked concerned as she approached. "Are you cold?"

"I thought so. But they told me I'm not." It must be the body's way of dealing with chidlbirth occuring so quickly.

Trying to control my shivers, I clenched my jaw. I wasn't going to let anyone categorize me as melodramatic. Women had babies every day. No big deal.

Why hadn't they given her to me yet? I thought of our son with his blond curls. Due to a complication with Max, I didn't get him for six hours. Hadn't I made myself clear that I wanted her as soon as possible? Hadn't they all agreed? How could we ever explain to him if something happened to his baby sister?

I tried to control the shaking, but it was unnecessary. Nurses on each side of the bed attempted to hold me down. Someone who wore cool glasses with circles all over them placed more tubes in my arm and told me what she was injecting. Someone was having trouble getting blood pressure but kept trying and trying. I assumed it was Alexandra's and hoped they'd figure it out soon.

Eventually, I met my husband's eyes. He held Alexandra. No nurses were near her. Why? I had to look away because that's when my prayer changed from "Please keep her safe" to "Please keep me safe."

On my left, my mother fiercely fought tears. Beyond the doctor and nurses, Garrett stared down at our daughter, but I couldn't see her.

The atmosphere in the room had changed. It was no longer euphoric. It was efficient.

So much more crowded than before.

And cold. Very, very cold.

I mumbled something to the doctor about being grateful she had small hands because as she worked, it appeared she was rummaging around in me for her keys.

Although I'd tried speaking earlier to let everyone know I was okay, any desire to seem less dramatic faded as I realized I was in danger. "...hemorrhage kit..." "What's her type?" "...blood transfusion..." "...25-35% blood loss..." Complete sentences and coherent thoughts left me.

Blankets surrounded me. Garrett lowered Alexandra to me. I kissed her cheek and her little nose. Each time he brought her near me, I shook a little less, warmed a little more. Eventually, they placed her on the blankets beside me and I touched her.

Bliss.

And so, so worth it.

TV Tuesday: The Young Queen Victoria

2011-09-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

My mind is filled with random facts about Elizabethan England and Shakespeare. One time I was accused of cheating at Trivial Pursuit when I correctly answered a string of questions related to those topics...and won!

I need to expand my historical horizons.

Just a bit.

So, I decided to be more observant about the Victorian Era.

After all, like Elizabeth, an ERA was named after Queen Victoria. And what a time it was! The literature was fabulous: Dickens, Bronte, Thoreau, Emerson, Hawthorne, Twain, Whitman, etc. Scientific discoveries rattled society. I mean, DARWIN changed the world forever, right?

Although the time period is legendary, my knowledge of the woman it was all named after was sketchy: She loved her hubby, wore black after he died, and had a lot of kids who populated European castles. Plus, I thought her propriety influenced the time period. It seems I recall reading that even the legs of furniture were draped in fabric because the curvature of a table might suggest that of a woman's leg. Scandalous!

Clearly, I know very little about her, so, I was delighted to see The Young Victoria on tv recently. The film was quite the love story.

Emily Blunt charmed as the princess turned queen. She played her in such a way that I really must learn more about the monarch. The actress formally executed queenly demeanor--and then when no one was looking, she'd skip or swing her feet like a girl. So cute!

Perhaps the story was truly about Prince Albert, though. Rupert Friend played the young German turned husband-of-the-queen. Charming, self-conscious, and caring for the welfare of the common man, he made me wonder what would have happened if they'd never met and fallen in love.

Check out the movie. What do you think?

I love historical fiction. Can anyone recommend a novel relating to Queen Victoria and/or Prince Albert?

Baby Girl: Obedient or Smartypants?

2011-09-07T16:31:00.000-05:00

Garrett says it's my fault.

I'd asked Baby Girl to remove her feet from my ribs, and she did.

Hmmm. Is she obedient or a smartypants?

After a nearly textbook pregnancy, Baby Girl decided to switch things up.

Two weeks ago, she was in position. We figured she and Max would share a birthday. His birthday came and went. Labor Day came and went. On Tuesday I went to my regularly scheduled appointment and she sent me to get an ultrasound. Of course, the in-house clinic was booked because it was the day after a long weekend, so we got to go to the hospital and pay extra...

...and discover she had moved into a left transverse position. In other words, she is lying sideways with her head on my left.

At thirty-nine weeks, this position is less than ideal.

Garrett has been so funny (in a creepy way) about it. He said I should thank my "lucky stars for modern medicine" because a hundred years ago both the baby and I would die. Thanks, honey. The whole dying-in-labor-thing doesn't appeal to me. Later, he explained the origin of the Caesarean and how it was practiced on dead women for centuries. Then live women--who weren't expected to live. It wasn't until the 1500s that a woman survived. Woohoo! Today he went on to talk about the extensive family research he's done recently: Generations of men in my family had more than one wife who died in childbirth. Nice.

I guess we're a good pair because as morbid as the conversations have been, I feel strangely comforted. I mean, he's done a lot of research to be aware of what's going on with me. That's sweet, right?

Still, I'm not excited about the possibility of a c-section. Sure, women do them all the time. But I don't. My chiropractor friend Breanna did acupuncture on me this morning. Baby is already moving more than she has since she spun around into this crazy position. Maybe she'll dance around to where she should be before I have to have a c-section.

Fingers crossed!

Toddler Tuesday: Demolition Man with Free Magazines

2011-09-06T03:06:00.000-05:00

Lisa of the Office knew our little man liked trucks and all sorts of heavy equipment, so she brought us a magazine she picked up for $.20 at a second hand store. HE LOVES IT. He wants to take it everywhere and will "read" it so that it occupies more of his time than anything else we've found.

He also has corrected us on some of the equipment. For example, I thought something was some sort of drill but he informed me it was a cement mixer that goes "waaaaaaaay down" into the ground. After reading the caption, I realized he was right.

So, my hubby, good dad that he is, went on the internet and found our little man a free one year subscription. He insisted he selected all the answers honestly. Here are a few of the questions he had to complete.

What is your specialty? Demolition, Digging
Do you do any digging? Yes
How much do you spend on equipment each year? Under $500K
Do you have dump trucks in your fleet? Yes
Do you have tower cranes? Yes
Do you plan to purchase any equipment in the coming year? Yes

His birthday is within the month. I'm sure his fleet will grow. And who knows? Maybe one day he'll actually buy something from the magazine.

Friday Favorite: Crock Pot Girls

2011-09-02T09:29:00.000-05:00

Culinary facts about me:

I'm not a chef. Yes, I like to entertain and I love food. I'd just prefer to decorate than cook.
I loathe cook books. I'm completely incapable of imagining what a recipe will taste like by reading it. Cook books clutter my life. I much prefer to enjoy something, ask for the recipe and place it in my three-ring binder of faves.
I love my crock pot. It's easy. It makes delicious food. 'Nough said.

The Crock Pot Girls: Allyson, Jenna, and Nicole

On August 11, 2011, a trio of friends started a Facebook page where people post their favorite crock pot recipes. In those few weeks, over 330, 000 people have "liked" it.

Can you say phenomenon?

The creators have now started a website called Crock Pot Girls.

I am downright giddy with excitement. Thank you, ladies, for providing a community of recipe swappers after my own heart!

Anyone else see a book deal in their future?

Writer's Wednesday: The Traveling Jewelry Returns

2011-08-31T08:12:00.043-05:00

A few months ago I wrote about how two of my life-long friends and I decided to give a grown-up nod to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Katie had the necklace first. Her husband was awaiting orders from the Army to tell them where they would be stationed, so we thought she needed it.

The idea always seemed like a good one, but I had no idea what an experience it would be to receive the package in the mail. Reading the journal was like having Katie right there in the room with me--except I couldn't interrupt or ask questions! Wearing the necklace reminds me my friends have chosen to stay with me even though they aren't bound by blood or contract. I confess: I feel braver wearing it.

Pretty cool.

Although Ange is visiting China and Japan right now, they wanted me to have it when Baby Alexandra arrived. I'm thinking Ange's journal entries about hiking and camping on the Great Wall of China would have been more interesting than me dealing with "nesting" and behaving in a freakish nature to get all the closets cleaned while hoping baby girl didn't arrive before I threw my son's third birthday party and had her nursery prepared.

Then again, Ange is always having adventures. Baby Girl arrives only once.

See? Friends do know best.

Is our jewelry as magical as the traveling pants? I think so. Katie and her family are being stationed at their top choice. Max's birthday party was a success, the ladies of the office surprised me with a sweet shower, my home is getting tidier, and I have an obedient daughter who is hanging out in the womb until we have everything prepared for her.

Magic.

Toddler Tuesday: Yoga for Kids

2011-08-23T07:18:00.053-05:00

Max and I attended a summer session of Yoga for Kids. What a fun experience!

Preschoolers are naturally cute, but when you see them doing downward facing dog and hear them barking, they're irresistible. They hissed in snake position and meowed in "kittycat."

Libby Rogers , the instructor and owner of the studio, is great. But who knew she was so creative?

Each session offered positions and teachings of yoga. What child doesn't love story time? We repeated the stories at night because they helped us remember essential life lessons. Like any great instructor, she adapted to the mood of her class. Tree Pose was practiced in a fresh way by incorporating it into a game similar to Red Light, Green Light. "Big tree, little tree, grow!" Or something like that. One day the kids--okay, MAX--was antsy, so she introduced Butterfly Bowling. The kiddos sat in butterfly position until "it" rolled the ball to him or her. Then the position changed.

He had a "ball."

This morning he twisted himself into different positions--probably just to show me he could.

"Look, Mommy! Pretzel!"

"Mommymommymommymommy, butterfly!"

"Ruff-ruff, Mommy!"

I can't say enough good things about yoga. I've taken private classes the last couple of months in preparation for baby Alexandra. Hopefully, if I start my children early enough, they'll reap the benefits and find peace for life.

If you have the opportunity to practice yoga--for yourself or your little ones--do it!

If you want to practice at home, here's a link from Parents.com on some yoga poses for kiddos.

Friday Favorite: Back to School

2011-08-19T14:47:00.001-05:00

Preschool is widely accepted as a milestone. NPR recently published a story providing data that it is also "the best job-training program" a person can receive.

To provide social interaction, we placed our little guy somewhere with a great reputation last year. Then it changed. Drastically. So we removed him. We've been assured that the social skills he may have learned there won't damage him for life.

Fingers are crossed, folks.

Luckily, we were able to get him into the local Mother's Day Out/Preschool program at the Methodist Church.

Day 1
Because of his previous experience with "school," we shouldn't have been surprised he was less than enthusiastic once the day arrived. In fact, the only children I know of who cried that morning must have had had some traumatic memories because they were the ones who attended the other place.

Insisting Dad carry him in rather than walking like a big boy

Unhappy, but being a little soldier and hanging up his backpack

Although he happily made gifts for his teachers, he refused to hand them over.

Day 2
It is fabulous! Two teachers are assigned for the small class of little bodies. Daily updates are given. Children play and learn. Healthy snacks are requested of parents instead of cakes and cookies. Hallelujah! Note: I'm not opposed to some good junk food, but I want to be the one to give it to my kid thankyouverymuch. The school probably reminds him of the one Sid the Science Kid attends. Whatever the reason, improvement was definitely seen on day 2. He still wanted us to hang out and watch him play, but he didn't completely freak out when we left.

Afterward, we had a great conversation.

Me: What are your new teachers like?
Max: (grinning) Flowers

Day 3
He grabbed his teacher's hand to help her store some snacks and didn't seem to hear us when we said goodbye.

Day 4
Max: You take me to school today?
Me: Not until next Tuesday.
Max: (sticks out bottom lip and threatens tears)
Me: Today you get to hang out with Mommy
Max: (sighing) That make Mommy happy. (pats my arm and smiles sweetly)

Yes, very happy.

Writer's Wednesday: Hereafter by Tara Hudson

2011-08-17T07:43:00.000-05:00

I met the charming Tara Hudson

at a book signing with fellow Oklahoma writer Sonia Gensler. Tara was a lady after my own heart as I watched her husband and baby amusing themselves (and others) as Mommy did her book thing.

And the book was great, too.

As you know by now, I'm a fraidey cat. Hereafter succeeded in giving me nightmares. In the same way the dementors freaked me out in the third Harry Potter book, the sheer alone-ness of the dead protagonist gave me shivers. (Since these things cause me such fear, I'm sure this tidbit is ripe for psychoanalysis!)

Then the completely original scary stuff happened. Forbidden love mixed with an entire dimension most people don't want to think about demand a sequel. I'm looking forward to it.

Check out this great interview with Tara Hudson from author Susan Dennard on blog Let the Words Flow.

Friday Favorite: Goodbye Cozy Slippers

2011-08-12T08:03:00.000-05:00

The Christmas before moving to New Jersey, I received a wonderful gift from my mother: Jessica McClintock house shoes. Now, don't think slippers get me all excited usually. They don't. But these were special. Completely animal friendly, these boots felt like they'd been lined with the fluffy fur of a magical woodland creature.

I wore them all the time.

My feet aren't as cold here in Oklahoma, so I haven't worn them as much since we moved.

But when pregnant, a woman longs for any little bit of comfort. So, I dug them out of the closet and let them work their magic again--even during the hottest summer in Oklahoma's recorded history.

Pieces of black fabric and plastic appeared around the house. We wondered what caused the mess. Several times I jumped because I thought a piece was a bug.

Eventually, I realized it was my shoes!

So, so sad.

Dorothy had her ruby slippers to lead her down the yellow brick road.

My house shoes have led me to motherhood.

Writer's Wednesday: Jane Eyre

2011-08-10T10:02:00.001-05:00

***Spoiler Alert!***

I finally watched the newest version of Jane Eyre.

It's so wonderfully gothic!

gorgeous old manors

shadows promising danger

dreary, twisted landscapes

secrets lurking behind locked doors

Although other versions of the movie have been enjoyable, I much prefer this cast.

Mia Wasikowski is Jane.

In the movie she truly is a plain Jane; although, after surfing the net, I found much more glam pics of her where she's quite pretty.

Mia: not mousy at all

Is this what Rochester sees beyond her obvious spunk and intelligence?

Aside from Mrs. Fairfax, played by Judi Densch, the movie omits the few female figures who are kind to Jane. In fact, other than including the friendship of Helen--which ends in her death--the movie only shows the cold, dismal parts of Jane's earlier life. Still, it's a movie, so one positive mother figure can suit for time's sake. And who better to serve in that capacity than Judi Densch?

Dame Judi as Mrs. Fairfax

Michael Fassbender is an enchanting Rochester. At times, he's a bit more handsome than I imagined him to be--and younger. (Perhaps because I'm closer to his age than the young Jane?)

Hello, Mr. Rochester.

When I first read Jane Eyre, I was astonished any girl could fall for such a cranky old cad. I figured even if I'd not been exposed to men, I'd have better sense. In some versions, he fits right along with my teenage interpretations. However, if I were Jane, I'd have fallen for this Rochester, too.

Although he can be fearsome and mean--and, sure, he lied about his crazy wife in the attic--he is, at times, delightfully sympathetic. In the movie, he is also totally and completely smitten with her. Unlike the book, he doesn't pretend to be engaged to the beautiful and shallow Miss Ingram. Although, it does seem pretty obvious he brings her to Thornfield to inspire jealousy in Jane. Even this juvenile attempt makes him more endearing in the movie. (What's wrong with me?)

Like the novel, by the end of the movie, Rochester is repentant and her social equal, so she doesn't give up anything to be with him. In fact, she proves herself to be his moral superior.

And they live happily ever after.

I'm going to watch it again.

Toddler Tuesday: Spiders and Storms

2011-08-09T06:57:00.000-05:00

My son hates "funder"storms.

I hate spiders.

Due to the extreme heat in Oklahoma, we're having an insect invasion.

Miraculously, it rained last night. A good thing considering the trees are dropping leaves like it's autumn, and fires are springing up due to the tinderbox conditions.

Our terrified son fled to our room where he begged us to keep him "safe" from the "funder." We reassured him there was nothing to fear.

In the semi-darkness, I held my trembling boy...and watched a black shadow skitter across my top. I shifted into the light and felt eight tiny little legs skitter across the small area of my exposed tummy.

My son must have sensed my horror.

"Mommy?" he asked. "What's wrong? Are we safe?"

I swallowed hard as the spider crawled toward my leg. "Yes, honey." I kissed him on the head as his daddy held him. Then I walked into the next room, barely suppressing a scream, and danced out of my clothes as quickly as possible.

The spider escaped.

My fingers are crossed the "funder" scared him away.

Friday Favorite: College Re-Visited. Sort of.

2011-08-05T08:10:00.003-05:00

Some things never change. On the way to meet a couple of my college sorority sisters, I got lost.

Don't worry. I only went down two one-way streets (the wrong way) and the other drivers were (mostly) nice about it.

When I arrived at El Guapo's Cantina in downtown Tulsa, it was so much like time spent at The Mont in Norman years ago. Salsa, queso, and adult beverages. Okay, mine was a virgin strawberry daquiri, but it was delicious.

Steph C and Steph B at the Mont in '04

Even though it was 104 degrees outside and I weigh 40 pounds more than I did in college (due to my current state of pregnancy), I felt young again.

Until we dropped by Stephanie B's home and saw that her daughter had grown so that she was taller than her mom. Then I felt old.

Before long, she may be pledging a sorority herself. In fact, in the same number of years it's been since we rushed, Baby Alexandra will have the option to go through rush.

Whoa! Not feeling so young now.

That night, I drove Stephanie C to my home. We spent a lot of good times in our twenties and early thirties in NYC--hitting many of the hot spots mentioned in Sex and the City. Below is a pic of the night we went to the Meatpacking District, ate at Pasti's, and danced the night away at Soho House. Hey, Samantha may have been kicked out, but they welcomed us!

Before going out one night in '05

Our visit was definitely more domesticated this time around. The next morning we hung out in the shade of the swing set while Max and Garrett played. Then we had salad and pizza at local yummy place Sam and Ella's Chicken Palace.

Stephanie C and Brandi in 2011

You know...it doesn't matter how much time passes. Friends are friends and their presence always makes your heart happy.

Thomas the Train

2011-08-03T09:06:00.000-05:00

We didn't allow Max to watch tv the first couple of years of his life--except the presidential inauguration, but that had historical significance.

Sesame Street was first. Then we chugged on to Thomas the Train because he loved trains.

But I never really liked it. It's not especially educational, although they do promote being nice to others. Sort of.

Actually, I find it a bit sexist.

Sexist?

Yes.

Sure, trains traditionally appeal to little boys and the creator of the books wrote them for his son. I get that. However, of all the engines, there is only one who is female. And she's annoying. She possesses some stereotypical "female nag" traits.

Then, of course, Clarabel and Annie are the coaches. In one of the books, they annoy Thomas with their excitement and giddiness and he has trouble "keeping them in line."

I wondered if I was the only person who thought these stories that promote hard work and honesty could be tinged with sexism. Apparently not. I Googled "Thomas the Train Sexist" and was amazed at how many responses I found.

Read for yourself.

The Week

What do you think?

Should authors who target children be aware of such messages?

Toddler Tuesday: Sleepover!

2011-08-02T17:02:00.000-05:00

Max's birthday buddies Jake and Jack stayed with us recently. They brought along their parents and baby brother. We thoroughly enjoyed them. We love house guests.

Max, Jack, Jake

The older boys were born on the same day. It's always interesting when they get together. We learn something every time. For example, when they were about 8 months old, Garrett and I learned that yes, Max really could feed himself his own bottle. He watched them do it and took matters into his own little hands.

This time, we were so pleased to see someone give Max some of his own medicine. Curious, Jack examined Max's behavior chart. Max marched over and told him not to play with it.

Does anyone else think it's ironic that one of the topics on his chart is sharing?

In response to Max's tyranny, Jack grabbed a magnet from it and tossed it across the room. Then, with a mischievous grin (much like his father's), he hid behind the couch to watch Max unhinge and retrieve the magnet. This process repeated a couple of times.

They played well after that. Max realized he couldn't mess with him.

Jake, the gentlest of the boys, did not fare as well under Max's territorial assault. When he looked at Max's book on planets, he was willing enough to share with Max, but Max needed more than a little encouragement to understand that sharing doesn't mean he gets to play with everything and no one else gets to touch his stuff.

This parenting gig is hard work.

Still, when we set up the inflatable mattress for the twins in the playroom to spend the night, Max declared he wanted to sleep with them. The parental units were all a little nervous. After almost three years of sleep deprivation, who can blame us? But we gave it a chance.

I wish they were here every night because he slept in with no night time visits to our room!

Max and Baby Jameson

No matter how territorial Max can be with his toys, it doesn't seem to translate to babies. He loves Baby Jameson. In this picture, Max's fascination with Jameson's "tiny toes" is clear. Max was so enamored with Baby J that while the baby was sitting in a Bumbo seat, Max pulled up a chair and sat right in front of him to study the infant's every move. Then he raced back and forth to his playroom finding new toys to offer the five-month-old.

Oh, I hope he's as sweet to Alexandra when she arrives!

Max was a little taken aback when Jameson spit up on me--because I was bouncing him after he ate. Head thunk. I explained babies do that sometimes, and Alexandra might even spit up on him. He declared that would NOT happen and began listing ways he planned to retaliate if his little sister considered such a thing.

But, according to him, it was okay that Jameson did it.

Friday Favorite: Showered with Love and Friendship

2011-07-29T21:35:00.000-05:00

Last week, my friend Ange B hosted a shower for Baby Alexandra at Ange N's house. It was so much fun! I sometimes forget how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life. That Saturday reminded me of how blessed I am. Others who couldn't be there sent good wishes. I'm one lucky girl. Thanks for such a great day!

Ange B and Ange N with a goofy looking me

pretty on the outside with chocolate and strawberries on the inside

my mom and sister-in-law

Class of '93 gals

Ange told me she thought showers were boring and planned to be different for me. (I felt sorry for her when her dj plans fell through.) She made it clear she was not about any sort of string-tying baby shower games.

Instead, she had everyone decorate onesies. How cool is that? Thanks to the ladies in attendance, I have a personalized collection of adorable onesies made with love.

The other side had a ROOSTER!

This one was so detailed! She could have sold it, but Alexandra gets it. Yay!

If I taught Zumba, would my hair look like this?

I was so grateful to everyone who took time to be there. Alexandra and I feel loved!

Writer's Wednesday: Mark Twain Encourages You to Follow your Dreams

2011-07-27T07:07:00.000-05:00

Mark Twain

Mark Twain wrote over 30 books in his lifetime. When considering he amassed such work without Microsoft Word, the accomplishment seems even more impressive. It's safe to say he knows a thing or two about the life of an author.

So...if you're considering writing or having trouble with your current project, listen to the wise words of Mr. Twain.

You: No one sees me as a writer. I've been told it's a waste of time.
Mark Twain: Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

You: I have an idea, but how do I write the book?
Mark Twain: The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.

You: I'd be so embarrassed if I tried to write a book and couldn't--or wrote it and no one wanted to publish it.
Mark Twain: Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Toddler Tuesday: Tummy Photo and Little Boys

2011-07-26T10:13:00.000-05:00

A little boy pointed at my tummy this weekend and said, "What's in there?

"My baby girl is growing until she's big enough to come out and play."

"How did she get in there?" he asked.

I hesitated and looked toward his mom.

His eyes widened. "Did you eat her?"

Friday Favorite: Returned!

2011-07-22T21:14:00.000-05:00

Weeks ago, I gave my critique group copies of Lucky Charm to critique. In return, I offered swag to help them get through the work I hoped wouldn't inspire suffering.

four-leaf-clover cup, M&Ms and a lucky charm

Today my sweet friend and critique buddy Lisa of the Lake--she's also our lake neighbor--brought three revised manuscripts.

critiques

Look at all the ink on those pages. I love it! I'm looking forward to sorting through their comments and making my book the best it can be.

I'm also nervous about whether or not they liked it and think it has value.

It deals with some dark situations. Heck, I had nightmares while writing it. (If you've read my blog enough, you know I get nightmares from commercials and fairy tales, so that's no real testimony.)

So anyone expecting a book just like Glamour is in for a surprise. This one, folks, has edge. When I wrote Glamour, I feared people would confuse me with my characters, so I kept them all...acceptable. This time, I tried to stay true to what these characters would say or do--without my filters of propriety. As a result, they led me to realms much darker than I would choose myself.

I'm nervous to see how that went over with readers.

And there's only one way to find out.

Toddler Tuesday (on Thursday): Dragon Play Date

2011-07-21T06:24:00.002-05:00

Maybe it's his age. Maybe it's his personality. Maybe it's because he's a boy. Maybe it's the influence of some kids he's no longer allowed to be around.

Whatever the reason, we've been concerned with how aggressive our little guy has become when playmates come to our home.

His cousin visited on Tuesday.

Beforehand, Max vowed to share his toys, be a good boy, and not hit anyone. When they arrived, Max immediately shared a prized Tonka dump truck. I was so proud.

After a long bit of dashing around the house pushing yellow trucks, the squeals of joy were interrupted by a whimper from Caleb and a "He's okay!" from Max.

Um. Not okay.

They played well for a while and then we'd hear a cry again. After each out-of-sight altercation, Max hugged Caleb and apologized.

Finally, Caleb pointed at him and said, "I'm not hugging him again."

It's so hard not to laugh at moments like these.

Is it bad to hope a playmate will haul off and wallop my child to teach him a lesson? Then again, I think my child would laugh. He could be tackled, hit, and kicked and think it was a game.

But Caleb didn't hit him. (And he says, "Yes, Ma'am" to his mom. How adorable is that?)

After Max pushed Caleb off his trike, I told him he'd have to take a nap. Hesitating only long enough to request milk, he immediately crawled into bed.

While he slept, Caleb--a year older and not requiring naps--regrouped. He must have developed the idea while watching Dinosaur Train.

Max woke up and wanted Caleb to join him in his play room. I encouraged him to ask Caleb nicely. He walked in the tv room where Caleb happily nestled in Max's chair. Instead of asking him to play, Max told him to get out of his chair. Ugh. Then he asked him nicely to play.

Caleb surprised us all with terrible roar!

Max responded with cries and real tears.

While comforting my hysterical child, I said, "He's just talking like a dinosaur. You roar, too." I said to Caleb, "You're a dinosaur, aren't you?"

Caleb slowly shook his head. "I'm a dragon."

The power must have made him giddy because he roared at Max several more times before they left. Sweet revenge.

So...does anyone have suggestions for getting an almost three-year-old to "play nice"?

Writer's Wednesday: Sarah Addison Allen's The Sugar Queen is sweet

2011-07-20T07:48:00.002-05:00

A sweet read!

When I describe this book as delicious, I'm not being cliche. The sensory details in The Sugar Queen are phenomenal. Each chapter is the name of a different candy. Food is up front and center--practically a character itself. Most similes and metaphors are connected to food.

I had no suspicion it was written in the style of magical realism until it finally hit me like a bag of lemon drops.

Sure, it's odd for an acquaintance to suddenly take up residence in your closet--that's stocked with your secret stash of sweets and travel magazines.

Yes, it's unusual to have characters so accepting of superstition. The protagonist Josey smells like Christmas because her mother insists all entrances to the house be scented with peppermint to keep away unwanted visitors.

However, the aspect that made me realize the novel embraced magical realism as much as Josey embraces GooGoo Clusters is a character named Chloe who lives her life encountering books that find her. They show up on couches, bars, floors, car seats, etc. (But never a bathroom because they might get wet. That makes sense, right?) Books hound her because they need to be read. Who needs a therapist when you have books seeking you to help you with life? I love the idea. All Chloe has to do to find answers is pick up a book and read it.

Author Sarah Addison Allen may have a similar relationship with books because she wrote this essay entitled Just So You Know with which any book lover can identify.

I literally squealed when I read this book. It was delightful.

Lisa of the Office (we have so many Lisa ladies in our life that they have special monikers) loaned this book to me, and I'm so grateful.

Books are a favorite gift of mine, and this one is begging to be gifted in a basket with lots of candy. Allen's website has a book club link with a page link called The Candy. Go here and see all of the sugary foods that are in the book.

So, if anyone gets it from me for Christmas, know it's because I think you, like the book, are sweet.

Writer's Wednesday: Lela Davidson is Blacklisted by the PTA

2011-07-13T16:02:00.001-05:00

It's here! Hooray!

My funny and fashionable writing pal has a new book! Click here to order your very own copy.

Isn't she adorable?

When Lela Davidson learned she could turn sass into cash, she left her accounting job. Readers have been grateful ever since. Lela writes about the real issues of being a wife and mom while finding the time to drink wine from a box in her driveway.

Check out her website and click on the links to read some of her many articles on family, business, and writing. She knows what she's talking about. Because of her, I'm completely guilt free about paying someone to clean my house. Every gal needs someone to tell it straight.

Lela does.

And in person? Yes. She's that funny.

TV Tuesday: United States of Tara

2011-07-12T10:50:00.001-05:00

Perhaps it's because, as a writer, I'm accustomed to characters talking to me.

Perhaps it's because I like to go to the next level and ask, "What if?"

Whatever the reason, I'm going to miss United States of Tara.

This three-season Showtime series features the amazingly talented Toni Collette as Tara Gregson, a thirty-something mom of two who struggles with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). Her patient and hunky hubby Max is played by John Corbett. The cast is full, interesting, and believable with daughter Kate (Brie Larson), son Marshall (Keir Gilchrist), sister Charmaigne (Rosemarie DeWitt) and family friend Neil (Patton Oswalt).

Tara's primary alternate personalities are a 1950's housewife named Alice, a beer-guzzling Vietnam vet named Buck, and a trouble making teen named T. She also has pop-psychologist Shoshana, child Chicken, and in the last season, evil half-brother Bryce.

Yet, I can somehow relate to her.

She loves her family. She wants to be a steady mom to her children, give her husband some happiness, have a normal family dinner, hold her baby niece, not meet herself coming and going, and just be able to paint.

Those are normal, sane desires, right?

Since I'm no mental health professional, I can't speak to the accuracy of the potrayal of the mental illness.

However, the show serves a positive purpose by putting it out there for people to examine in a different way. So often, people make off-the-cuff comments about someone being "bi-polar" or "schizo." This show sheds light on a family that loves each other and must cope.

And that reality happens outside the realm of TV Land every day.

Oprah reminded me of some bits of truth in the show. From two interviews, I saw bits of Tara's character. Does anyone else remember Trudy Chase? She had 92 personalities. She wrote a book, and a movie was made. Read about Trudy Chase here. Kim Noble is another mother who has 20 personalities. Like Tara, she's an artist. Read about Kim Noble here.

So many people look for drama, but this show deals with drama in a (sometimes darkly) comedic way.

Check it out.

Friday Favorite: For the Birds

2011-07-08T13:48:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, a robin insisted on flying itself repeatedly against our patio door. Claws out. His self-abuse continued for days from sun up to sun down.

Slam. Slam. Slam.

People suggested he saw his reflection and was trying to fight it as some sort of attempt at finding a mate. His behavior could be considered similar to a bar room brawl for a girl. He didn't give up. It didn't make sense. He made a mess.

Since I don't know any bird bouncers, I did my best. First, I placed paper against the door to try to block the reflection. That didn't work.

Slam. Slam. Slam.

Next, I cut colored paper into strips to look like snakes and taped them outside to catch the wind and move.

Slam. Slam. Slam.

The crazy bird answered my attempts by creating a makeshift nest and port-a-potty on our patio furniture.

Then one day, he disappeared.

He must have found a mate who was impressed by his machismo.

Last week, while attempting to keep our flowers alive in this heat (Six of our seven pots still have blooms! New record for me.), I noticed a fuzzy little creature on the lawn. Somewhere between the size of a golf ball and baseball, it blinked up at me. Clearly it was terrified. Its robin dad or mom flew frantically from the fence to the roof and back again. I showed Max the baby bird and his first thought, of course, was to step on it--but he didn't. When I went back outside, it was gone. A few days later, the nest I thought it was in was vacant, too.

Lake Wrens

Last weekend, we went to the lake. My dad has a little bird house. Baby wrens were in it!

On Tuesday, I found another robin's nest near our patio at home and we watched a parent feed three hungry little cheepers. I love the location of this nest because we can watch them from inside.

The parents always seem nervous as we watch.Whether it's the robin helping its baby take its first flight or the wren surprised by all the activity near its babes, they kept a close eye on us. We weren't like them, but we were part of the world their young would have to live in.

I can identify. I'm learning that whether you're a bird brain or not, sending one's young into the world is a tough part of life.

Still, you won't catch me slamming myself into someone's patio door.

TV Toddler Tuesday: Sid the Science Kid

2011-07-02T07:54:00.002-05:00

Did you know roly polies aren't insects? They're crustaceans--like lobsters!

I learned this at the same time my 2 year old did.

Sid the Science Kid totally rocks. Sid's family is loving and encourages curiosity. His friends are silly, smart and well behaved. His teacher sings songs. Each episode has at least one mini dance party and lots and lots of science.

Plus, the website is really cool.

I've always been lousy at science. Okay, not lousy, but it's definitely been my educational challenge. A teacher once told me that if I'd cheated like the rest of her (insert science here) class in high school, I'd have been valedictorian. ?! I worked my tail off and earned an 89.8. No rounding, obviously.

And, yes, I'm still bitter.

In college, I signed up for astronomy, half-way thinking it was astrology. Oops. Oh well, my soon-to-be boyfriend-and-eventual-hubby took that class. My science challenge required lots of study dates. Hmm. I guess our future was written in the stars!

My brother understands science. Growing up, whenever the science fair rolled around each year, he had plenty of ideas. Me? I always wished it was the art fair. Now, he teaches science. He also has a beautiful yard in which flora actually grows. My yard is a place plants come to die. Clearly, my sibling inherited the science gene.

But, with Sid the Science Kid and my brother and hubby's help, I'm thinking that my son has a future with comprehending science.

Who knows? Maybe I can, too.

Yeah, right.

Friday Favorite: Inklings Retreat 2011 and Adams Corner at Cherokee Nation Heritage Center

2011-07-01T08:14:00.000-05:00

Each year for the last eight years, we've had an Inklings Writing Retreat at Lake Tenkiller.

We always critique,

relax on the deck,

enjoy the water,

take a walk,

and, apparently, take pictures in front of other people's stuff as exhibited here

here,

and here.

We often have a workshop

and try to explore something in the local area like here

and here.

This year, after a delicious meal at The Branch with a view of a creek that holds a spring from which Tahlequah supposedly got its name, we took a tour of Adams Corner at the Cherokee Heritage Center.

Although the town looked like Little House on the Prairie, words were written in Cherokee, using Sequoyah's syllabary

Karen Coody-Cooper ,one of our Inklings members, couldn't join us for the retreat in a traditional sense--because she works at the Cherokee Heritage Center. So, we went to see her.

Martha Bryant, Dee Dee Chumley, Sonia Gensler, Karen Coody-Cooper (in 19th C. garb), Kelly Bristow

Karen sharing fascinating facts about Cherokee culture in Indian Territory during the late 19th Century

Due to the time, we were able to get into the museum (for free!) and catch the Cherokee Seminary exhibit. The center is on the grounds of the original Cherokee Seminary. Below is a picture of us standing in front of three remaining columns that surrounded the first school that was destroyed by fire.

Martha Bryant, Sonia Gensler, pregnant moi, Dee Dee Chumley (Photo courtesy of Sonia Gensler)

I always gain so much inspiration from these weekends. Not only are the ladies great writers and critics, but they're also great friends. It was another fabulous weekend.

Writer's Wednesday:Book Signing for Sonia Gensler and Tara Hudson

2011-06-29T09:14:00.000-05:00

Tara Hudson and Sonia Gensler with their debut novels

This weekend was The Inkling's annual writing retreat. I'll write more about it on Friday Favorites, but I wanted to share with you the exciting way we ended our weekend--a book signing! Can you think of a better way to punctuate a writing weekend?

Our fellow member Sonia Gensler buddied up with fellow Oklahoman Tara Hudson to have a signing at the 41st Street Barnes and Noble in Tulsa. (Note to authors: If you'd like to set up a signing, contact the manager Laura Johnson. She's fabulous!)

Like Sonia's novel, Tara's debut is a young adult ghost story set in rural Oklahoma.

And it's good.

Part of the audience enraptured by Tara and Sonia

The turnout for the ladies was fabulous. We saw lots of familiar faces from OWFI and SCBWI conferences. It didn't take long before both authors sold out. I'm not surprised, though. Tara and Sonia gave a little talk at the beginning of the session. They were charming, poised, and funny. Who wouldn't want to read their books?

Tara Hudson, Martha Bryant, Brandi Barnett, Sonia Gensler, Sonia's biggest fan, and Garrett Barnett

My mom and I rode to the signing with Sonia, so Garrett and Max came to pick us up. Even in this pic, you can see that Max can't take his eyes off Sonia. He adores her. Even though I hadn't seen him in two days due to the retreat, he rushed straight to me and held up his hands. "Hi, Mommy. Where's Sonia?"

So, if you're looking for a good YA read and you like ghost stories with a romantic twist, check out Tara Hudson's Hereafter and Sonia Gensler's The Revenant. Tara's is contemporary and Sonia's is historical. Both will give you chills.

Friday Favorite: The Corner of Nice and Neighborly

2011-06-24T10:15:00.000-05:00

People often don't want to get involved.

Whether it's food in a coworker's teeth or a pal's open zipper, many won't tell the individual unknowingly making a fool of himself or herself.

Why?

When I was a little girl, I recall sitting in a restaurant when a woman exited the ladies' room trailing toilet paper--with her skirt tucked into her pantyhose. NO ONE said a word to her, but as she passed tables, EVERYONE talked about her.

Why?

Even as a kid it bothered me, so as she sidled up to the salad bar, I told her. It was the kind thing to do.

In the last couple of weeks I've seen two random acts of kindness that warmed my heart.

The first one was when I saw 16-20 people all lifting a trailer, working together to re-hitch what had apparently come undone. They were strangers, but someone needed help.

Then yesterday, in the same intersection, I saw a man jump out of his car into four lanes of traffic to shut an open gas flap on the car in front of him.

How many people would do that?

Have you witnessed someone help a stranger? Do you have insight as to why some people won't even tell a friend when he or she is unknowingly doing something embarrassing?

Journal: Write about an act of "nice and neighborly" kindness.

Writer's Wednesday: Agent Jennifer Laughran's Word Count Sweet Spots

2011-06-22T07:30:00.001-05:00

On March 30, 2011, I posted a blog about word count guidelines as provided by agent Elana Roth.

Now, superstar agent Jennifer Laughran has weighed in on her ideal numbers. Check out the comments on her blog.

Why do I know Jennifer Laughran is a superstar? Because she's my writing pal Sonia Gensler's agent. Check out Sonia's young adult paranormal The Revenant--released yesterday!

You can buy yours today. And believe me when I say it's exactly the right number of words.

Toddler Tuesday: Red Lobster and Fork Lifts

2011-06-21T06:45:00.007-05:00

"Lobster, please!"

We couldn't believe that's what he wanted to eat. Max likes looking at them, but I didn't expect him to want to eat them. We ordered French fries and lobster tail for our little guy. Of course, when it landed on the table, he thought the tail had teeth and decided he wasn't touching it. After telling him he couldn't have another fry until he ate a bite of lobster, he rethought his decision. Cautiously, he nibbled a bite off the fork.

And smiled.

Before long he'd forked up all the lobster his dad had pulled out of the tail, dipped it in butter, and plopped it in his mouth. He even wanted more.

We may have started an expensive habit.

Surprisingly, Max's first experience with lobsters didn't catch the other patrons' attention as much as his language.

The kid is fascinated with machinery. He grabbed a fork and pretended he was a fork lift. I thought it was clever. Unfortunately, when he tried to "lift" his dad with the utensil, he said, "My going to fork you up." In his toddler dialect, the "r" is not pronounced. He repeated it many times--with increasing volume--and it was not pronounced ever.

So, to all the people who gave us dirty looks...he said fork. Fork you up. Really.

Friday Favorite: Miss(ed) Oklahoma

2011-06-17T08:10:00.000-05:00

Although she is queen of her domain, my friend Jennifer lives in a neighborhood of princesses and a home of four princes. When a queen summons, I do her bidding.

She invited me to attend the Miss Oklahoma pageant in Tulsa to support her lovely neighbors. One was contestant Emily Ousley and the other was her "Oklahoma Star," a program in which little girls are mentored by contestants. They were both lovely.

Plus, I saw two OU Tri-Deltas were in the running, so I got all collegiate nostalgic.

Although we almost missed the pageant.

On the way there, Jen said, "If anyone were with us, they'd kill us."

Yep. But it was hilarious.

After spending an afternoon with me driving us to pedicures and tea at Dragonmoon Tea Company, Jennifer insisted on driving. She activated her On Star and said, "You have to get this."

Clearly, she didn't yet comprehend the magnitude of my geographical challenges. Like the Bermuda Triangle, my curse soon reached out and grabbed her. We barreled down the interstate, following the instructions, and encountered a giant "CLOSED" sign plastered across our route. I laughed at her surprise. This sort of thing always happened to me. She called and gathered new directions. We were to turn on 11th street. Guess what? We were at an intersection where both signs said 11th street. I kid you not. These things happen to me all the time. It's a gift.

The pageant began at 7:30. The rain began at 8:04. We arrived in the parking lot at 8:08. As we raced toward the Mabee Center, a woman eyeballed us. I called, "Did we miss the good part?" (Since I've never attended a pageant, I didn't know what that would be, but certainly there is one.) She encouraged us to hurry because we'd missed the opening number and they were about to announce the top 15.

We never found our seats, but we caught a lot of the show.

In fact, I fear we were part of the show. A pregnant lady in heels. A tired mom of three under three lugging a good-natured four-month-old. We found seats near her friends at one point, but because Baby J wasn't fond of classical music in the talent competition, we courteously sped out. Let me restate that...Jennifer was courteous. I'm pretty sure I bonked some poor guy on the head with both my purse and her diaper bag.

While watching the swimsuit competition from the aisle, an older gentleman must have been impressed with the soon-to-be crowned Betty Thompson. He looked me up and down. "Those girls don't understand women don't look like that after thirty." Hackles raised, I threw my shoulders back and pregnant belly forward. "Speak for yourself. After I had my first baby, I looked just like that." I patted my tummy. "You ought to see me next summer when I'm through with this one."

He had the nerve to grimace like he didn't believe me.

To his credit, I checked myself out in the mirror before I left for the evening and thought remember when someone told you you looked hot, and you knew they weren't thinking you needed an air conditioner and glass of iced tea?

Still... Even queen mothers should be treated with respect or they can be be a royal pain.

Toddler Tuesday: It's Potty Time!

2011-06-14T08:53:00.002-05:00


Big Boy Pee Pee Chart

Mommy: Let's go to the potty.
Max: (tilts head in consideration) Naw. My did that last night. My do that when I'm bigger.

Stellar mother that I am reasoned, he can just wear his soggy diaper until he can't stand it anymore, and then he'll want to be potty trained.

Wrong.

Pull-ups sagging past his knees, he's still disinterested in an alternative method. "No, tank-oo! My alright. My okay."

This from the kid who refused to eat as a teeny-tiny infant unless his shirt was clean and dry.

People have shared their tricks.
Put Cheerios in the toilet and let him take aim. Little boys love that.
Maybe. My kid is fickle. He mastered sinking Cheerios with his first try and has shown no interest since. In fact, I fear he'd prefer to pluck one out and eat it.

Reward him with stickers.
Yeah, we've done that for months. Guess what? Now, he's not a big fan of stickers. In fact, if you take the kid to a toy store, he'd rather take home bandaids.

Ask him what it will take.
One couple asked their son this question, and the darling boy said, "I want a dump truck like Max's." Three days later, their son had a new toy and big boy underwear.

Although bribery never seemed like a good idea before I was a parent, I'm all aboard the bribery train now. But it's not working.

I've stockpiled treasures so Max can select rewards--dinosaurs, boats, a fireman's hat. At a fundraiser, I won a little bike and a flask. His eyes lit up like Santa made it right in front of him. We thought the bike would be the big prize once he'd mastered the cause.

If you have any suggestions, please share.

I have a feeling the flask will get use before the bike.

Friday Favorite: Keen shoes

2011-06-10T08:31:00.002-05:00

A few years ago, a student commented I'd never worn the same pair of shoes twice. It was second semester. I was no Imelda Marcos, but she was right. Shoes were a weakness.

I lead a different life now.

Heels aren't practical while chasing a toddler or pregnant. Neither are they practical when my office parking lot is "paved" in gravel...but that's another blog.

During this pregnancy, it is not uncommon for me to change my shoes four times a day due to discomfort--and I used to happily teach on concrete floors while wearing high heels.

But I really need comfy shoes to get me through this hot summer pregnancy.

In my experience, if someone says a brand of shoe is comfortable, it's the equivalent of getting set up on a blind date and having the matchmaker stress what a great personality your date has. In either case, you know the recipient of praise is not going to look good and you don't want it touching you.

A couple of years ago, our family friend Paul recommended Keen. Since the day my husband wore his first pair out of the store, he's rarely donned any other kind while not at work. It's a struggle to keep him from sporting the sandals with socks in the winter. (I told him if it embarrassed me, it will mortify his children, but I think that statement only served as incentive.)

Alas, pregnancy makes you do strange things. I made a list of all the comfy shoes people have praised over the years and sought them in stores.

Only Keen has lived up to the hype.

In my pregnant discomfort, I acquiesced and bought a pair. The store was out of aqua, so I purchased the bright yellow. I figured if I was going to wear those shoes, I should be bold and truly own the ugly.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I love them so much, I think I may buy another pair.

Have you tried Keen shoes? Do you have any other comfy shoe suggestions?

Writer's Wednesday: Forming a Critique Group

2011-06-09T08:29:00.000-05:00

Some people think they can write something, never revise it, and others should still want to read it.

That's about the same thing as pooping on a platter and calling it art.

A critique group is extremely valuable to writers who want to improve their skills. However, a bad critique group can be devastating. If you're not a part of one that meets your needs, create your own.

Consider your ideal group. In your utopia, how does it flow? Go ahead. Close your eyes and allow yourself to look around in your imagination. Experience the perfection.

Consider how you learn best.

Do you prefer anonymity or one-on-one?

Are you someone who needs to peel the layers of a critique to fully understand it? If so, then you probably need to be able to chat with your group. On the other hand, if you can take written critiques and they make perfect sense to you, then an email arrangement might be more to your liking. I've heard of critique buddies who've never met in person.

Do you want to know your writing companions well?

Membership will determine where you meet. If members are strangers, meet in a public place for safety's sake. My favorite way to compile a group is to carefully select the members from among my friends and acquaintances--people I've carefully identified as having similar goals and energy of the group. In that case, I prefer meeting in homes on a rotating basis. It's cozier. Chairs are comfier. There's no time restraints. There's no eavesdroppers. Food and beverages flow.

Consider time.

How much time can you dedicate to writing and critiquing?

I believe that the most productive critique groups are those in which every member contributes each time. I've participated in both kinds, and the feedback is different if someone isn't actively a part of the creating process of writing. It's a different zone. If one isn't in that zone, then the criticism can be a bit detached. However, since you're creating the group, make up your own rules. Maybe all the time you have to dedicate is once every three months. That's still something.

How often would you like to meet?

Once a month? Once a week? Quarterly? My favorite time is once a month. If you and your potential critique buddies have loads of time and a deadline, then once a week can be exciting and productive, but most people exert a lot of energy just to meet once a month.

How long would the meetings last?

Have an outline in mind. If food is included, allow time for eating and socializing. Will you have guest speakers? Assign speaking/critique time. Will you have an information sharing time where members share contest information, agent updates, writing articles, etc.? Post the times so that everyone knows the agenda. Also, consider limiting the number of pages members can bring to be critiqued so that everyone gets equal time. Sometimes, storytellers get easily off task and have the entire group laughing about situations that have nothing to do with the submissions. In that case, set a timer for each entry. Bad blood can occur if someone gets the short end of the time stick because someone talked too much or brought an inordinate number of pages.

How are the pieces submitted?

Should they be emailed ahead of time to allow readers to thoughtfully peruse the material at leisure? Should copies be brought to the meeting and the piece read cold? Should the author read it aloud, should another member read it, or should everyone read it silently? All of these methods have been used successfully. Think about what works for you with time constraints and membership goals.

Consider feelings.

What are the rules?

Even creative people need structure to thrive. At your first meeting or in the preliminary discussions, present some ground rules. Criticism is not meant to rip apart a piece. It is meant to improve. Knowing what one does right is as important as knowing what one does wrong. Try to first say what you like about the piece, what works, etc. Follow up with the comments on what needs to be tweaked. Consider the different aspects of writing: plot, character, point of view, theme, setting, conflict, figurative language, pacing, etc. Allow the author to ask for specific feedback. Sometimes that helps the critics gauge what the writer is striving for and whether or not it's attained.

What will make people feel comfortable?

"Breaking bread" is a traditional way for people to connect. I've met in public places like Panera, Books A Million, Barnes and Noble, and Oklahoma City's Full Circle Bookstore. I've participated in potluck dinners and lunches at homes. I also meet with a group that has morning coffee/tea and sweets. The dessert is provided on a rotating basis. By no means am I a cook, but I enjoy food. And, for me, there's something about sharing my writing with people who are also willing to share sustenance. It's like an extra bond of trust is formed. Nourishing the body as well as the writing spirit works for me.

Congratulations on embarking on this endeavor. Ten years into the group I helped start, I realize that the benefits have been more than just writing. My critique partners have not only improved my work, but they've also improved my life--one meeting, one email, one phone call at a time.
Good luck!

What are your thoughts on critique groups? Do you have other suggestions?

Toddler Tuesday: childhood summer

2011-06-07T07:42:00.032-05:00

My son loves his twin (second) cousins. They love him, too. It's a win-win.

At the end of the month, my cousin and her family are moving to Belgium. "The girls" will soon turn eleven, and my two-year-old son adores them. Perhaps he's young enough to not realize they're soooo far away. And why should he? We can learn to Skype.

My husband and I are so thrilled that their family has this opportunity. They are such a good age to see that the world is much smaller than most people suspect.

And we know they'll return as often as they can--after all, we have the draw of my kids and a great-grandma who lives two blocks away. We hope to travel to Belgium in a couple of years when our children are older (as in both actually born).

Recently, we gathered for a farewell visit, and my cousin Kathy snapped this photo with my iPhone. The sun was setting, but the kiddos are all looking forward together. Is there symbolism in this or what?

Although this time in your life is coming to an end, relish the new beginning. We love you all and wish you the best!

Journal: Write about childhood summers or a childhood visit with a cousin.

Friday Favorite: A Novel Idea for Sonia Gensler's The Revenant

2011-06-03T08:15:00.003-05:00

Last Friday, The Inklings celebrated our dear friend Sonia Gensler's soon-to-be-released novel The Revenant.

The Revenant is a gothic ghost story that takes place in Indian Territory in 1896 at the Cherokee Seminary, a boarding school for young, mostly privileged, Cherokee women.

Table setting

The girls of the seminary called themselves "rosebuds," so the table was set with red roses, sparkly silver, an Inklings tiara, and the invitation (which showed the castle-like structure of the seminary under construction).

Lisa made an amazing meal using a family recipe. My mouth waters just thinking about it.

Cookies!


party favors!

The students in the novel expressed excitement about going into town (now Tahlequah, OK) because of the various items that could be purchased. Party attendees took home delicacies of a bygone era with stick candy and salted peanuts. The fans and stick candy were purchased at the Murrell Home , another location that served as inspiration for the author.

A photo album to keep pictures from her book tour and visits.

more party favors!

Shel and her hubby made Christmas tree ornaments with the title of Sonia's book. The best part? She made one for all of us. With the hopes that one day we'll have trees dedicated solely to our critique group's published novels, she also distributed Glamour ornaments. So sweet!

We're so proud for Sonia. Congratulations!

FR: Shel, Sonia, Lisa. BR: Kelly, Karen, Dee Dee, Brandi, Martha

Who will be the next guest of honor at A Novel Idea party?

Writer's Wednesday: Open Mic Nights and Salons

2011-06-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

Last Writer's Wednesday, we discussed how my critique group started. l left you with some questions to ponder as you planned your own writing group.

Whatever format you choose for your writing group, make sure the premise is known by people attending so they don't have to endure something unexpected. If people think their work is perfection incarnate, they won't take kindly to a critique of any sort. On the other end of the spectrum, some writers would rather pluck their eyeballs out with an ice cream scoop than listen to unrevised work. If you want to improve your writing and/or ultimately publish, then choose a critique group. If you want to have someone with whom to share your work, then you need a different venue.

Again, present your group honestly. I once attended a meeting held under the guise of a critique group. Unfortunately it was really a mutual admiration society of mostly horrible poetry. (Yes, I know. I'm terribly judgmental. So, shoot me.) A woman attempted to escape the room only to discover the doors were locked. She struggled silently with the doorknob before violently shaking it with her tiny body. Finally, she looked up at the sky in a plea for help, allowing her entire body to slump in defeat. It was agonizingly hilarious because I, too, wanted to escape. For a moment, I feared we were in the plot of a horror story.

Since many hobby writers simply want a place for their creations to be heard, we'll address this sort of writing group first. There's nothing wrong with this desire. It's natural for writers to want to finish the final step in the wring process by having their work reach eyes and/or ears beyond their own.

If this is your motivation for a writing group, consider an Open Mic Night. These events are often held in public places. Even when surrounded by strangers, the atmosphere is rife with camaraderie. Many coffee shops, bistros, and artsy cafes host them. Even in my small town there's a fabulous sandwich/coffee/wine place that loves the arts. They hold events where writers, musicians, and belly dancers(!) perform regularly.

If an Open Mic Night is not already in your area or it isn't set up in a way that meshes with your vision, approach a favorite cafe or bookstore with your idea.

What's the worst that could happen?

They could say no and you'd be exactly where you are now. So, pick yourself up like a teenage boy just turned down for Friday night's dance and ask another prospect. Eventually, someone will say yes. Cross my heart. Post flyers. Invite friends. Be clear about what people can expect and share. Stay true to your vision when presenting the structure. It will most likely grow into something greater than even you could imagine.

If you'd like a more private venue but still want to share (with no threat of critique of the actual work) consider the age old tradition of the salon. Invite friends with similar inclinations over for snacks and the sharing of ideas. Send invitations with beginning and end times. It's a party! Decide if you want to do these once a month or quarterly and do it. Maybe someone else will offer to host the next one so you can focus on your next masterpiece.

Hmmm. I'm so excited about this salon idea that I think it would be fun to have with my critique group. We could take our favorite pieces we've entered in contests or published and have a night of celebration. That sounds fun!

Next Writer's Wednesday, we'll discuss the various ways to create a critique group.

TV Tuesday: American Idol Takes Oklahoma by Storm

2011-05-31T11:59:00.000-05:00

The storms that ravaged our country last week wrecked lives. I'm grateful my loved ones are all safe, but my heart aches for the families who lost everything. A particular story touched my heart and made me snuggle my little one a little longer and a little closer. Click here to see how you can help. Or click here to donate to the Red Cross. Click here for the Salvation Army.

It may seem shallow of me to write about American Idol and the tragic storms together, but they are linked in my brain. In an attempt to keep Oklahomans safe last week, the news stations across the state preempted all programming--including the final performances of Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina. My little family missed the teens while strategizing whether to drive to my brother's home and leap in his hidey-hole or set up a fort in an interior closet.

If I'd known what happened to the Hamil family, we would have gone to my brother's. Installing a storm shelter UNDERGROUND is now on our list of to-dos.

I mean, we live on a hill.

In Oklahoma.

We don't allow a lot of tv watching, but my son's internal calendar tells him the nights it's time to snuggle with Mommy and watch American Idol. I loved when he cuddled and clapped.

What show can I replace it with that is family friendly and inspirational?

Again, click on the above links to help storm victims.

TV Tuesday: Pregnant in Heels

2011-05-24T08:00:00.005-05:00

Oh my goodness.

That's what you'll say when you watch it, too.

Pregnant in Heels is a show about "maternity concierge" Rosie Pope who caters to the "millionaire mamas" of the upper East side in Manhattan.

My pal Jennifer who is a party planner and super-mom introduced me to this show.

I confess it makes me chipper when I'm having a stressful day and feel less-than-prepared for my wee one on its way.

One eye-popping moment is when Rosie tries to help a completely unprepared mom by introducing a real-life infant. The millionaire mama holds the teeny-tiny at arms' length before thrusting him at her husband. She says something like...."Oooh, it's too heavy. I need to go to the gym." The birth is about a week away. Yeah. Good luck on those biceps, lady. Not to worry. She's planning to have a nanny. And within three days of baby's due date, some other hired hand is expected to set up the crib.

Oh my goodness.

Another couple calls their unborn a parasite. They don't want a baby messing up their clean-lined, modern apartment. The mom-to-be's solution regarding toys? She compromises by saying two blocks will be allowed so the space invader can click them together.

Oh my goodness.

Another couple, who is more impressed with themselves than probably anyone else, hires Rosie to help them "brand" their baby. They need a name. They want his name to suggest to others just how important they think they are. After a panel of people--ranging from a linguist to a poet--suggest names, they have a focus group offer opinions. As if that isn't enough, Rosie throws a dinner party for the couple's closest friends so they can be discredited by the couple, too. Guess what? The couple chooses the name that NO ONE likes, except them.

Some people have more money than sense.

Needless to say, Rosie's services prevail. When she visits each couple after the baby is born, I don't feel the need to call child services.

How Rosie Pope manages to keep her cool is beyond my comprehension. Not only are most of the mama moments over-the-top, but Rosie is enduring in-vitro fertilization. Wowzuh. I'm hoping to see a major meltdown when her hormones strike back at some pregnant diva.

The show is highly entertaining and offers anyone the opportunity to feel smug.

Grab a martini--or mocktini--and check out the first episode on Hulu.

Cheers!

Friday Favorite: Sesame Street Party

2011-05-20T08:19:00.000-05:00

My son's birthday is at the end of the summer. So, of course, I fantasize about his party months in advance. Last year, the kid was totally Devoted to Elmo. Note the capital "d."

On his birthday he became ill, so we had to postpone. A week later, fewer attendees, and approximately two days after he suddenly stopped being fascinated with all things Sesame Street, we had his party. We had a great time.

If you're wanting to have a Sesame Street party, check out these blogs for inspiration.

Kara's Party Ideas: This Sesame Street party is unrivaled. If you click on no other link, check out this one. Seriously.

Birthday Girl: Gotta love the multi-colored theme--especially the Jones soda.

Hostess With the Mostess: I'm a baked goods sort of girl. The thought of candy buffets makes me queasy, but aren't they pretty?

P is for Party: The street signs, fish bowl, and giant blocks add to the fun.

Lovely Sprinkles: I absolutely fell in love with these invitations which inspired me to include stickers in ours. They were a hit!

Party Perfect: If I were a more patient person, I'd have totally made these cake balls.

Hostess With the Mostess: Is your kid crazy about Cookie Monster? Look no further!

Kara's Party Ideas: Is your kid in love with Elmo?

Brush up on your Sesame Street characters with this link.

Wasn't that fun? Don't you feel like you've been to a party?

Writer's Wednesday: Forming a Critique Group

2011-05-18T10:22:00.000-05:00

When I first envisioned the critique group that is now our Inklings, I had one primary, selfish goal: to finish my novel. But there were other goals, too. My mother loved writing and was good at it. I wanted to provide her the opportunity to complete something as well. Friends wanted to write and desired a place to grow. Most English teachers choose the major because they love reading and writing. Unfortunately, once you're teaching students your passion, you seldom have time to indulge yourself unless you carefully--selfishly?--carve out time.

I imagined a group where each member could feel safe to nurture creativity and express herself while improving her writing skills and producing finished works. I wanted a safe, fun, non-judgmental learning environment. I wanted monthly meetings. As a result, I introduced my idea to a chosen few, and we carefully selected writers to invite.

Keeping in line with my motivation for completing writing projects, we had only one rule: Don’t show up unless you wrote something.

Why?

Attending a meeting without going through the writing process benefits no one. The reasons for attending are different. What you contribute and what you take away are different. If you aren't writing, why join a writing group? Plus, if you’re not writing each month, then you’re not producing—which was the primary goal for starting the Inklings in the first place.

I’m proof our rule of writing each meeting works. The prologue of Glamour came from a journal prompt I gave my students. I didn’t always write with them, but that day I did because I didn’t have anything for the meeting that night. (Since the meeting was held at my home that evening, I couldn't exactly skip it.) I only gave 15-20 minutes of journal time each day, which means I had far less than that because some boys in the back of the classroom were more interested in one of them getting turned down for prom than buckling down and writing. Thus, “She liked to keep their tongues in her pocket” found paper. That night I read the prologue of Glamour. One of the members pointed out I’d finally found my antagonist.

Over the last 10 years, our group has grown and changed. Membership now encompasses several fabulous ladies who have not taught Shakespeare or grammar a day in their lives. Like all great, living things, the Inklings started somewhere.

People join writing groups for many reasons. Perhaps my goals for creating the Inklings aren't the same as yours. Next week, we'll get down to the nitty-gritty of creating a group. In preparation, answer the following questions:

What is your primary goal?
What do you want to get out of the group?
How much time can you dedicate to writing?
How often would you like to meet?
Where would you want to meet?
How long would the meetings last?
What is your ideal meeting? Describe it from beginning to end.

TV Tuesday: James Durbin is my American Idol

2011-05-17T05:44:00.006-05:00

I've never watched so many episodes of American Idol. The feel-good attitude of the new judges Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez combined with the talent and diversity of the contestants pulls me back each week.

One singer who even managed to reel in my husband and anchor him to the television set is James Durbin.

Hubby probably wouldn't be thrilled to know I shared that he watches American Idol, but he does. Or rather, he did.

James Durbin was eliminated last week.

Now what do we do?

We both love James. He had me at his audition.

He really had me at his story.

Even though his mother claims he's always had perfect pitch, he's had a less than harmonious existence. Not only does he have Tourette's, but he also has Aspergers. Meeting "an angel" changed his life. Then he and Heidi had their son. Watching him each week was special for me because his passion for music and his family resonated.

How many other contestants auditioned because they couldn't afford diapers?

Sure, the remaining three are talented, too, or I couldn't have watched so long. Read here to see what I said about them a few weeks ago. Scotty and Lauren are sweet with beautiful voices. Hayley is the underdog whose talent and va-va-va-voom led her to the top three.

But James is a well-rounded artist.

Durbin visualized each performance--flaming pianos, marching drummers and all--and created it on a storyboard. The others admitted to stressing about what to wear each week, but Durbin designed his own costumes. The guy has stage presence. He included the camera and the live audience in a natural way that many others still haven't mastered.

I'm amazed at his talent.

So, James, you asked in one of my favorite performances: Will you still love me tomorrow?

Yes, James. Yes, we will.

Let us know when you're on tour, and we'll be there.

Friday Favorite (on Sunday): tea with friends

2011-05-15T17:00:00.000-05:00

Since I moved two years ago, I've been on the hunt for a tea room, so I was delighted when my writing pal Sonia invited me to tea in Tulsa. She brought her long-time friend Michelle who was visiting from Nashville, and I brought my Ange.

We all met in Tulsa at Dragonmoon Tea Company. Apparently they have fabulous lunches, but they also serve afternoon tea by reservation. It's so worth it. That afternoon we had the cozy little house all to ourselves. Vladimir was our server.

Doesn't his name alone make you want to go?

Vladimir didn't flinch when I asked--in all my pregnant concern--if he would mind heating the deli meat and the chicken salad. (Somehow I didn't feel like the annoying customer I do now as I write this.) He simply told me that he understood and his wife had done the same thing.

See? Wonderful.

Plus, he shared that he never went to bed the night of the royal wedding. He just stayed up and watched it. A sweet guy who loves tea and watched the royal wedding? Gotta love him.

The ladies and I enjoyed scrumptious yummies and delicious tea. My favorite was the Versaille Lavendar Earl Gray. Ange and Michelle seemed to enjoy the Dragonmoon. I'm not certain which Sonia preferred. She's quite the tea expert, so I should find out.

Here's a pic of our tea tray.

Here's a pic of one of the adorable cakes.

Although I look ridiculous in this next picture, I wanted to show you my lovely tea companions.

If you're looking for a fun spot to gather with friends--new and old--check out Tulsa's Dragonmoon Tea Room. If you're in the Tulsa area, give me a call. I'd love to meet you there!

Don't just take my word for it. Check out this article. And this one.

Writer's Wednesday: Bring out the tiara!

2011-05-11T12:07:00.002-05:00

My writing group is amazing. Just ask us.

Ten years ago, I carefully selected a small cluster of friends, and we formed a writing group. Later, we decided we needed a name. Since then, The Inklings have grown as writers and in number. One of my favorite traditions is going to the Oklahoma Writer's Federation, Inc. each year.

My mother and I went first--way back in 2003.

Martha and Brandi after OWFI in 2003

She'd attended previously and thought I'd enjoy it as a birthday gift. We had such a good time that we decided to bring our pals and enter the contest the following year.

The Inklings at our first OWFI banquet. (Photo taken by William Bernardt!)

The first time The Inklings attended OWFI, a member said, "What group are you?"

"We're the Inklings."

"Never heard of you."

We smiled. "You will."

Kelly and Brandi with certificates and checks from our first OWFI contest.

So true.

We make new friends each year. That's part of who we are. Gabbing with others who are passionate about writing is a favorite past time.

Inklings and friends at our 2011 banquet table

In 2005, Lisa introduced the "hallelujah basket."

Hallelujah basket 2006

She's stowed various items of celebration in it over the years, but there's always, always a tiara and jingle bells. During the banquet in which contest winners are announced, we shake the basket to get those bells jingling as we applaud. When the winner returns with her prize, she is crowned with a tiara--until the next winner claims it. It's. So. Much. Fun.

I love seeing my friends crowned.

Dee Dee Chumley

Kelly Bristow

Sonia Gensler

Karuna Clark

Shel Harrington

Martha Bryant

Lisa Marotta


Karen Coody-Cooper

Don't get me wrong. I like a tiara, too!

This year, the announcer even joined in our fun as she announced. "Well, get out the tiara."

Next Writer's Wednesday: How to start your own critique group.

Friday Favorite: Birthday wishes

2011-05-06T09:01:00.000-05:00

My birthday was Wednesday and it was wonderful. So many friends and family members made my day a happy one.

The best birthday greeting of all?

When I pulled into the garage after work, my little guy rushed out the door and climbed in my lap. He flung his arms around me and said, "Happy birthday, Mommy."

The hubby claims he wasn't coached.

Simple goodness melts my heart.

Writer's Wednesday: Sisterhood of the Traveling Jewelry

2011-05-04T06:43:00.055-05:00

Ange, Katie (wearing necklace), Brandi in James Avery

I've been a big fan of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants over the years. The story speaks to me.

Enduring friendship is something I understand. Throughout life I've been blessed with many unique women who are truly friends. I am fortunate to have so many amazing ladies in my life.

However, I have a certain trio of friends who, as a unit, have been close for almost a quarter of a century. Katie and I met when we were three. Ange entered our lives in middle school. (Katie and I are on the left. I'm in the polka dot disaster. Ange is in the center wearing the green.)

Middle School Graduation

We've celebrated and suffered the wins and losses of life. Even when none of us resided in the same state, we maintained our bond. Many young friendships end once that high school diploma is delivered. Not ours.

10 Year Class Reunion

Throughout the undergrad years, we visited each other at college. (They actually met my husband at a party. Pointing to him in his bright blue sweatshirt, they asked, "Why haven't you dated him?") We celebrate milestones. (When Katie had her firstborn, Ange and I drove thirteen hours to see that little miracle.) We offer suggestions. (They both think Baby Girl should be named after them, and Ange informed me it doesn't matter what I call her, she'll still call her "Junior.")

Technology is readily available, but we think what kept our bond strong in college and into adulthood is simple. The written word. We kept in touch the old fashioned way--letters. Who doesn't like to get a real card or letter in the mail--especially in college? I remember scanning their penmanship to see if what they were writing matched the emotions conveyed in their scrawls. Unlike email that needs to be deleted, those letters were kept and reread. It was nice to know that somewhere in the world, two girls had known me a long time, understood my major flaws, and still loved and supported me in spite of them.

So, last week when we met up in person for the first time in almost two years, we did a very girly thing to celebrate our friendship.

We shopped.

At James Avery we found a simple, free-form infinity pendant and three chains.

At Barnes and Noble we found the accompanying journal.

Instead of inked up pants that can't be washed or cuffed, we plan to mail the pendant and the stories that go with it on a rotating basis.

Stolen from the rules of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, we inscribed instructions in the front of our first journal:

Write the most important thing that happened to you while wearing the necklace.

Write the most exciting place you visited while wearing the necklace.

Remember: Jewelry=Love. Love your pals. Love yourself.

Many journals and pendant exchanges from now, I imagine we'll gather and recall our lives together. It's probably a good thing it will be in writing, since we probably won't be able to hear too well by then!

Does anyone else have a special way to celebrate enduring friendships? Do you and your high school plans have a way of staying close? Have you gathered inspiration from a book and used it in real life?

TV Tuesday: White House Correspondents' Dinner

2011-05-03T09:50:00.002-05:00

The White House Corresondents' Dinner was on CSPAN. Seth Meyers, Saturday Night Live's head writer, was the comedian/host of the event. I laughed while reading about it, so I wanted to watch it. I thought you might, too.

Didn't Donald Trump know the event is traditionally a roast? (Sure, it usually primarily roasts the president, but everyone is fair game.) I'm a little concerned for the mogul because he seems to have lost his sense of humor. Sir, if you're going to run for office, you need thicker skin. You can't "fire" the American people when they displease you.

Our elected officials must keep many secrets and guard their emotions carefully. I marvel at how Mr. Obama flashed the big smile when Seth Meyers cracks the joke about his inability to locate Osama bin Ladin--especially since the president and a select few knew exactly where bin Laden was and had helped plan an attack for the following day that would result in the end of the terrorist's reign.

So, for a few political chuckles at everyone's expense....

Friday Favorites...on Sunday

2011-05-01T20:39:00.000-05:00

Friday began early with the royal wedding. I'm trying to figure out when I'm going to bake scones, brew tea and watch all the recorded footage. As you know from Wednesday's post, I eagerly anticipated this wedding and, like the 2 billion watching around the globe, was happy to share in the couple's joyful day.

And who can deny it was anything but joyful? They looked so happy--as a couple should on their wedding day.

If I were planning a wedding ceremony--especially to a military man, I'd imitate the clothes. The only man more handsome than one in a tux is one in uniform. The bridesmaids wearing white to match the bride was lovely. Some say that the bride should be the only one wearing white. Pshaw!

The Brits know how to rock a hat! I'm totally getting one. Who's with me?

Since I've studied so many royal weddings recently, as soon as I saw the bride, I said, "She looks like Grace Kelley!" Many commentators mentioned it throughout the day. Upon closer inspection, however, I notice the gowns aren't entirely similar.

Princess Grace and The Duchess of Cambridge

Perhaps the designer had something in mind. I read somewhere that Grace Kelley's dress style was chosen to make her appear more regal since she was merely an American actress. Do you suppose the same intent of raising her status from commoner to royal went into the selection for Kate Middleton? If so, the move was unnecessary.

Her poise did that.

If you haven't had your fill of the royal wedding, check out this site for the royal photos.

I watched this the wedded bliss from a condo in Branson, MO. My parents, grandmother, hubby and son spent a long holiday weekend in the Ozarks. Our entire purpose for going was to give our son the opportunity to ride a real steam engine. Although he knew it wasn't really Thomas the Train, he loved it; although, I suspect he might have liked the popcorn more. And he learned a new word: caboose!